Today I found out that I will get 10 000 extra this month. Feels really nice! Life is supposed to be fun! ☆
All my life I have used food as my way to sooth myself. I still do. I eat more than twice the amount my boyfriend eats and I rarely feel satisfied for more than an hour. I know there are a lot of emotions behind my binge eating – I know I eat because I love how good the food tastes. I love how soothing it feels to get those delicious things in my mouth. I love the distraction. I love the soothing feeling. So what is the problem? I wish I didnt have to over eat in order to sooth myself emotionally.
I have done this pretty much everyday (with a few breaks here and there) for as long as I can remember. I even ate flour mixed with sugar and butter when I was a little girl when I could not find any candy or cookies in our house. When I was older I went home during longer breaks in school just to mix some eggs with sugar and eat. I ate entire packages with powdered sugar and what ever I could find that was sweet and delicious. I have used food as a way to sooth how I feel all through my childhood, my teenage years, all through my 20s and now.
I have a magnificent, fit and beautiful figure – no matter what I eat. I dont want to quit loving food, I just want to find other ways to sooth how I feel. I take it one small step at a time. One moment at a time. I am on my journey of gentle self love.
There is a huge difference between how I felt while over eating a few years ago compared to now. With each passing year I have begun to love myself more and it has affected how I feel and how I react to difficulties. So what if I still over eat!? It is my way of soothing myself and it is ok. I love myself and my body with each bite I take.