If you find yourself constantly worrying about the small details of your relationship, like what your partner expects from you or if you’re doing something wrong, it could be a sign that he’s controlling.
Although this kind of behavior can sometimes be subtle and difficult to detect, it is important to recognize the warning signs so that you can get out of a potentially harmful situation.
Controlling partners might try to dictate your schedule and tell you who you should or shouldn’t be spending time with, all while carefully monitoring your behaviors and trying to isolate you from family and friends.
Stay alert for these thinly-veiled attempts at manipulation so that you don’t end up in an unhealthy relationship.
The Warning Signs Of A Controlling Partner
If you think your relationship is becoming unhealthy, it is important to look for signs that he may be controlling. Some major red flags include aggressive behavior, jealousy or possessiveness over you, inappropriate language or disrespect, and a tendency to undermine your decisions.
He might also try to isolate you from friends or family, impose extreme restrictions on where you can go, or interfere with how you express yourself.
If any of these features sound familiar, he is likely attempting to exert control over you and your relationships. It is important to speak up and seek help if this is the case.
He Constantly Criticizes You
A Controlling Person Will Often Criticize Everything You Do, From The Way, You Dress To The Way You Speak
One of the clearest signs that someone is exhibiting controlling habits is when they criticize everything you do. This criticism can take many forms, such as how you look, how you speak, and even your thoughts or beliefs.
If your partner critiques you from head to toe in a constantly negative manner and makes it seem like everything coming out of your mouth isn’t good enough, he likely has controlling tendencies.
If he finds fault in the smallest details of an activity or conversation and tries to impose his preferences upon you all the time, these are certainly signs of a controlling person.
It is important to recognize when someone’s behavior begins to cross over into an unhealthy and manipulative place so that appropriate action can be taken.
He Isolates You From Friends And Family
A Controlling Person Will Try To Isolate You From The People Who Care About You, Making It Difficult For You To Maintain Those Relationships
One of the key signs that he is controlling is if he attempts to isolate you from your friends and family, as this often gives them power and control over your life. It is important to be aware of any subtle or obvious measures he takes to accomplish this.
For example, he might become increasingly negative when talking about people in your social circle or refuse to attend events where they will be present.
He may also try to undermine the connections you have with others by questioning why you spend time with them or implying that they don’t have your best interests in mind.
If you find yourself unable to pursue meaningful relationships, it could be a sign that someone you know is already controlling your life.
He Dictates What You Wear
A Controlling Person May Try To Dictate What You Wear, Often Using Your Clothing Choices As A Way To Exert Control Over You
If you’re in a relationship where your significant other controls what you wear, it can be an incredibly toxic situation. Luckily, there are signs you can look for that will alert you to the fact that someone is trying to control your clothing choices.
These might include things like consistently critiquing how you dress, making unreasonable demands about how revealing your clothing should or shouldn’t be, or buying your clothing without consulting you first.
If any of these red flags crop up, it’s important to recognize them as harbingers of potentially unhealthy behavior and take steps to address the underlying issues before they get worse.
Being able to express yourself freely through your style is an important part of developing one’s identity, don’t ever let anyone take that away from you.
He Monitors Your Phone And Internet Use
A Controlling Person May Try To Monitor Your Phone And Internet Use, Often Checking Your Messages And Emails Without Your Consent
If you suspect your partner is a controlling person, there are some clues to look out for. One very concerning sign is if your partner attempts to monitor your phone and internet usage in an intrusive way.
This could involve snooping through personal emails or messages without asking for permission or possibly limiting your access to the internet or other platforms entirely.
A controlling person may feel the need to always have insight into where you are, who you are talking to, and what kind of information you have access to, all as a way of exerting control over their environment and ultimately, over you.
If you notice any signs like this, it is important that you trust your gut instinct and reach out for help or talk to someone right away.
He Demands Constant Attention
A Controlling Person Will Often Demand Your Constant Attention, Expecting You To Always Be Available To Them
One of the signs that he may be a controlling person is if he demands your constant attention. He might expect you to always be available when he needs something and give him all your attention when he is talking.
He could also become very jealous or possessive, and try to limit who you talk to or how much time you spend with other people.
Other signs of his controlling behavior can include trying to dictate how you dress or behave, belittling others around him, expecting perfection from you on any task he assigns, or even trying to keep tabs on where you’re going and what you’re doing throughout the day.
The best way to deal with a controlling person is by setting firm boundaries about your behavior and communicating those expectations.
He Tries To Control Your Finances
A Controlling Person May Try To Control Your Finances, Often Making It Difficult For You To Make Financial Decisions On Your Own
If your partner is trying to control your finances, it can be a sign that they are a controlling person. Controlling people will attempt to restrict access to financial accounts and decisions, which can leave you feeling helpless and intimidated.
You may also notice that they discourage or undermine you when discussing finances; further exemplifying their intent to keep the power of financial decisions in their control.
If they become secretive about dealing with money, make all the financial decisions without consulting you, or become hostile when questioned about money matters, these would be a few signs your partner is attempting to gain full control over your finances.
It’s essential to pay attention and make sure you retain power over decision-making to ensure your financial stability and success.
He Is Jealous And Possessive
A Controlling Person Will Often Be Jealous And Possessive, Making It Difficult For You To Have Any Kind Of Social Life Outside Of The Relationship
Controlling behavior can be insidious and hard to spot, making it especially difficult to realize when a partner is overstepping their bounds. If your significant other exhibits jealous and possessive attitudes toward you, this could be a sure sign of control.
He may attempt to dictate who you can have relationships with or try to prevent his own time with friends, claiming that it takes up too much of your valuable time together.
Similarly, he may become angry or overly judgmental when you spend time with anyone outside the relationship.
Jealousy and possessive behavior towards partners should not be viewed as innocent signs of affection; they should serve as indicators that your partner may be attempting to dictate your social life in an inappropriate or unhealthy way.
He Tries To Make All The Decisions
A Controlling Person May Try To Make All The Decisions In The Relationship, Often Disregarding Your Thoughts And Feelings
Controlling people can be incredibly difficult to deal with, especially if they are in a relationship. They may try to make all of the decisions and expect you to simply follow their lead.
This can be particularly damaging because it denies your feelings about the situation and minimizes your opinion entirely.
The signs of a controlling person range from making ultimatums and expecting you to obey them immediately to monitoring or limiting certain activities or even questioning where you are at all times.
None of these behaviors are healthy for any relationship, and you must address them so that changes can be made for everyone involved to feel safe and respected.
He Uses Threats Or Intimidation
A Controlling Person May Use Threats Or Intimidation To Control You, Often Making You Feel Afraid To Speak Up Or Leave The Relationship
Being aware of the signs that a loved one may be attempting to control you with threats and intimidation is the first step to getting the help you need and beginning to take ownership of your life again.
These signs may include obsessive checking up on you, telling you who you can and cannot speak to, or trying to dictate what clothing you wear.
Other subtle warning signs might include seemingly innocent comments such as “you always make me angry when”, which could mean your partner is attempting to manipulate your behavior.
A controlling person may also become increasingly aggressive if met with resistance in a decision and dialogue, which further serves as a way for them to maintain power in the relationship.
It’s important that if you ever feel unsafe or coerced into doing something against your will, you must get help from a trusted family member, friend, counselor, or support group. Taking control of this situation can save your life emotionally and physically.
He Refuses To Take Responsibility For His Actions
A Controlling Person Will Often Refuse To Take Responsibility For Their Actions, Blaming You For Everything That Goes Wrong In The Relationship
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As a marriage counsellor, I’m passionate about helping people figure out solutions to their relationship issues. While based in Austin and with most of my clients coming from the local area, I believed that there were more people out there who could benefit from my services.
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