If you saw a small child who was in a lot of pain, crying and asking for help – you would want to sooth and comfort him.
When someone lashes out in anger / rage / frustration by screaming, hitting and hurting others – that raging person is just like that small little baby. He is also in a lot of pain and he desn’t know how to deal with his own inner thunderstorm. Just like that sad little baby, he would benefit by being soothed and comforted – but he has usually been met with the opposite of that in his past, that is why his rage brings him so much more pain each time. The soothing never happens, so the pain – the inner thunderstorm – grows.
The soothing does not need to come from someone else outside of them, it needs to come from within. Others can sooth and comfort temporarily – but if he doesn’t start soothing himself the pain will come back.
The freedom and relief will be found in learning to self-sooth. Learning to take full responsibility for how you feel and letting others off the hook. You are in charge of how you feel and only YOU can learn how to find relief. Be very kind and gentle with yourself every step of the way. Don’t beat up on yourself for the things you have done in your rage, let it go. See this moment as a fresh new start. Embrace your inner child and start to sooth yourself into feeling some relief.