“Here is a rule of thumb: Speak as much as you have time and energy and words for as long as you’re feeling good when you’re speaking, and speak not at all from your place of feeling negative energy.
And here is one more little thing that is helpful: If you will spend some time thinking about them in the days before you see them, looking for their positive aspects, your vibration about them will change, and then when you do have a physical encounter with them, your relationship will be affected by the work that you have done even when you have been apart. In like manner, if you had been, in your mind, criticizing them, when you get together with them, even if you don’t speak words of criticism to them, they will feel it and they will resist it. And then they become defensive, and defensive is always a sign of out of harmony with their Inner Being.
We would like all of you to let everyone off the hook, and for one very important reason – it feels so good to you to do it, when you decide to just love them anyway. Let them be the imperfect beings that they may be, or let them be perfect beings that they may be, but let them be. Realize that they are doing the very best that they know how to do, and love them for their effort. That will feel so good to you, and in that feeling they will gravitate to you, they will sense that there’s something about you that they can gain. In other words, when you do that, you become a funnel that is open to that pure, unconditional love; your funnel is wide open, and just spilling into their experience when you are there. They can’t explain it, they don’t understand it, but they just feel better because you love them anyway – you’re not condemning them because they didn’t clean up the house today, you’re not condemning them because they’re not doing anything, you just appreciate them as they are, and in that environment they will feel better and so will you.”
Abraham Hicks, 30/11 1991