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Reclaim your happiness – stop being a people pleaser



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Honor yourself by saing NO if it feels off to you ❤

Be kinder to yourself! Don’t force yourself to behave in ways that please others – honor yourself by following your inner guidance. 

If it feels off to you, it is off! It doesn’t matter if every friend you have thinks you should do it or if your boss or your lover wants you to do something – if it feels less than good to you it is detrimental to you. 

Whenever you do something you don’t really want to, you are hurting yourself. It is actually more benefical for you to be “rude” and say “no, I don’t want to do it” than to swallow your resentment, go against yourself and do it even though you don’t want to – just to please someone else.

It is time for you to start liking yourself, caring about yourself and start valuing your desires and beliefs. When you care about yourself and your wellbeing first, you will be of most value to everyone else as well

Stuck in their own miserable way of thinking – they cannot hear your soothing words

Sometimes people (myself included) get so stuck in their own miserable way of thinking that they cannot even hear you when you try to sooth them into feeling better. They just keep asking the same old questions again and again, the words may be dressed differently but the core beliefs still shine through as bright as the full moon on a clear winter’s night.

No matter how many times and in how many ways you try to sooth them into feeling relief, they will not hear you. When they are so stuck in their own negative thinking they are not asking for your opinion or for a solution – even if they say they are wanting that – they are looking for confirmation and validation of their own misery. 

But don’t worry! This too shall pass, even for them. You are just not the path for them to take, right now. Don’t blame it on yourself if they cannot be soothed. Keep being the loving, caring being you are and know that they have all the guidance they will ever need within themselves. All they have to do is calm down, relax and be willing to let go of their own destructive thinking. One step at the time. Change starts within.

He was unfaithful – how did I feel better again?

8 years ago I found out by accident that my boyfriend had been with another girl – and that he had lied about it for more than a year. At first I became totally emotionally numb for like 6 months. Then I started caring more about ME, what was important for me, how I wanted to FEEL. I completely let go of trying to control anything and focused more on general principles like “I want to be with a man who loves me, adores me, is attracted to me and truly wants to be with me” “if he leaves, then he is not a match to what I want anyway – I want someone who WANTS to be with me, only me” – I still have that attitude. 

Do I really want to live in a relationship where I have to control what he does, who he is with etc? No – I want to be with someone who WANTS to be with me. If he wants to be with me there is no need to second guess anything because it is ME he WANTS. 

We can’t force someone to treat us as we want them to – we can know how we want to be treated and know there are men out there who can gives us just that. Just like there are men who loves to be with more than one girl, there are men who loves to be with only one girl

Don’t give up on love or happiness just because of infidelity. It can be your opportunity to tune in to who YOU want to be, how YOU want to FEEL and it can be a golden opportunity for you to start loving yourself unconditionally. Yes, it can be your opportunity to find your way into your own freedom and empowerment. Whether you stay or go is irrelevant, you can do this either way. ❤

The most beautiful, powerful magic

When they disapprove of you – find your own empowerment

Getting their appreciation might feel really good but what feels even better is not needing their appreciation! When you feel unconditional love and appreciation for yourself, you don’t need to get it from others. 

When your own love radiates from within, it will no longer bring you to your knees when others disapprove of you.

The key to your freedom and empowerment lies in learning to like yourself unconditionally. 

Change how you look at it and what you look at will change

Of course it is going to feel awful when you see something you don’t want to see – when you look at, hear, say or experience something that goes against your desires then your inner guidance will alert you of your detrimental perspective. It is normal.

Just gently sooth yourself into feeling a little relief. You can back away from the specifics, take a more general approach and find relief regarding that topic.

My deepest, darkest desires 🖤

It is alright to say no!

You don’t have to do things that you don’t want to doit is ok to say no

Even if your friend or someone who means a lot to you wants you to do something, you have the right to say no thank you and do something else instead. You can’t go against your inner guidance just to please others, without it taking its toll on you. It will take its toll on you mentally as well as physically.

You matter. They matter too but you have to listen to your own inner guidance first and foremost! Happiness IS an INSIDE JOB. That is true for them aswell. Their happiness or sadness does not depend on you and the choices you make. Remember that. 

How YOU FEEL is always something YOU can AFFECT.  ❤

The greatest gift to your partner – and anyone else 

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