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Fit mother of two 🍑

After having spent almost 3 decades hating myself and having no self-esteem what so ever, this feels like a breath of fresh air. I am loving my fit body! 

It feels so good to enjoy being who I choose to be. Finally I am in a point in my life where I like myself, my personality and everything about me. Such a freeing feeling. 

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When you are screaming with pain on the inside, and smiling on the outside ♡

I listened to Linking Park quite a lot when I was going through my darkest moments when I was 17-20 years old. On Thursday I heard about what happened, I know he has finally found relief. ♡


Numb is a wonderful way to describe how I was feeling. All the things I had been through – sexual abuse, physical abuse, been bullied, anorexia, alcoholic parent, death of my mother, had no self esteem, ran away from home straight into the arms of a man who physically and mentally abused me for almost 2 years until he went into prison… and lots more… 

All of it had me SCREAMING with pain on the inside but smiling on the outside. Almost every inch of me had lost all hope and wanted to die – I even tried to kill myself once when I was 19 years old but could not go through with it. There was still a small part of me that wanted to live.

This is me when I wad 16 years old. Not a happy teenager. No one understood what I was going through, I had no one.

I continued alone and it was not until I was 24 years old after another anorexia episode, the death of my father and more that I finally decided I wanted to change my life. And I did. I did it all by myself and I managed to go from feeling like a helpless victim to a person with radiant self-esteem who fell in love with life. From that point on everything changed for me. I got my dream job, met the man I desired most of all… I got pregnant and gave birth to my two little angels. ♡ 

All of these external things are beautiful but what really matters is how I feel on the INSIDE. That was what I changed FIRST and that made all the difference.

That is why my burning passion now is to show other people that no matter what you have been through, you can change your thinking and feel good again. ♡

From no self-esteem to total self-empowerment

How can you stop your self hatred and start improving how you feel about yourself? It is easier than you think. It doesn’t matter if you have hated yourself your entire life or if you have the lowest self-esteem imaginable – you can improve how you feel about yourself and you can begin now. You can go from no self-esteem to total self-empowerment, it is possible! 

There are many things you can begin doing, right now, that are beautiful, easy steps on your journey toward feeling better about yourself. One of the first steps is to make a decision that you WANT to feel better about yourself. Just rest with that decision for a while, it is enough! As you let that decision be a part of your thinking it will be easier for you to take the next steps as well.

Another step you can take is to start looking at other people in a new light – start looking for things you LIKE about everyone around you and everything that happens. It is a lot easier to begin to look at OTHERS in a more positive way than yourself if you are tuned in to hating yourself. And there is real magic in this because if you train your focus into seeing the GOOD in others, you will automatically begin to see the GOOD in yourself as well, without even trying! This is an excellent way to begin changing your focus in an easy, gentle and smart way.

If you have spent your entire life hating yourself it is very likely that you have stopped listening to your own inner guidance a long time ago and replaced it with what other people think and say. It is likely that you have let their disapproval or approval become a big part of your own guidance – and that is also why you feel so lost, so disempowered and so insecure. You can’t rely on things outside of yourself for guidance about how you feel without losing your own sence of self empowerment. But don’t worry! This too can change and YOU can begin the change right here and right now:

This magnificent step will feel like such a relief to you! This step is to stop caring about what other people think about you and start listening to how YOU FEEL, what YOU LIKE and what YOU WANT. This life is for YOU. YOU are the main character in YOUR LIFE and YOU get to choose how you want to play your part. 

How would you like to feel? How would you like to feel about yourself? What matters to you? What things do you enjoy doing? What things do you enjoy eating? What clothes makes you feel most comfortable and most beautiful? How would you like to spend your days? What values are important to you? How would you like your relationships to feel and play out? What choices would you like to make? Continue discovering what feels good to you, what calls you and begin to move in the direction of what feels better to you. 

Another reliefgiving step is to start paying attention to what you think and say about yourself. Your inner dialogue will affect everything about you, your posture, your confidence… everything! When you think good-feeling thoughts about yourself you will be an attractive, confident, empowered and good-feeling person as well. It all begins with your mind, your attitude and your focus.

Begin right now to at least LISTEN to what you think and say about yourself and begin to make gentle changes in your focus. Baby steps is enough! You can’t go from thoughts of self-loathing to self-love all at once because it is too far away and you won’t believe these new thoughts anyway so they will make no difference. But you can gently tune to thoughts that are more general and a little less hateful. And as you practice that for a while you can then tune into more general thoughts that bring you a little more relief and with a little time you will be able to easily reach for thoughts about yourself that feel good. One step at a time. The more you do it the easier it will be. In time you will think loving thoughts about yourself and the words you speak about yourself and your life will automatically reflect that love.

There are many more beautiful steps along the way but these steps will be a perfect start on your journey toward feeling good about yourself. 

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