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Why would such a beautiful girl like me hate myself for over 30 years and have no self-esteem? Here is why:

I got such a brilliant question today and here is my answer:

I grew up with an alcoholic father and my parents mentally abused me. I was sexually abused when I was 6 years old by 3 older guys, I was bullied in school, had reading and writing difficulties, had no friends, developed anorexia (an eating disorder) when I was 9 years old, had no friends during my entire school years, was raped by two guys when I was 17, ran away from home two weeks after that because my father’s alcohol abuse was insane and my parents were so verbally mean to me, I ran straight into the arms of a guy who physically and mentally abused me for over two years until he was sentenced to prison for it. During this time my mother died. I had to go through the two trials all alone – I had no one. I was completely alone, no friends and no one in the world that I could talk to. I did not want to live anymore – I even tried to take my own life. Then my father died, I got pregnant and had to make an abortion…and the man of my dreams cheated on me and lied about it for over a year until the truth came out in the most painful way ever… somewhere there, around the age of 24, I decided that enough is enough and I chose to change my thinking. I started working on liking myself. I did it all by myself – I never told ANYONE about any of these things that happened to me in my childhood/teenage years. It was not until I was almost 30 years old I began talking about it.

So, I guess this answers your question on why such a beautiful girl like me, hated myself for almost 30 years and had absolutely no self-esteem 🀣❀

How you FEEL has nothing to do with the way you look. I had my desired, dream body, but I hated myself and had no self-esteem for almost 30 years. Beauty does not mean confidence. You cant see how you feel, it is 100% about your own thinking – and you CAN do something about that. If I could, all by myself, anyone can. 🌹❀

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30 years of hating myself β€

A friend triggered me into thinking a little this morning. I realized that after having spent around 30 years absolutely hating myself and hating my entire body and face – hating everything about me – I still have a long way to go. 🌟

But I will not give up, I am still on my journey, it is a never ending journey. Some days I feel better about myself and some days I don’t. I am making slow and steady progress. It is all in my head, all about my thoughts, and I have already come such a long way! 10 years ago I was a completely different person (even though I looked exactly the same ). These things cannot be seen, it is an insecurity within. ❀

In the midst of mental chaos β€

No matter how bad things might seem – remember to be kind to yourself! Each word you speak and each thought you think is an affirmation of who you are. Listen with love to what you say and adjust it ever so slightly in a more reliefgiving way.

You are doing the best you can from where you stand. You are a good person, you are loved unconditionally. It is time for you to start loving yourself, from the inside out – no matter what you have done, what you have been through or how long you have been in a negative pattern. Change starts within – and it stats with love. ❀

You CAN feel better, even if you see no logical reason toΒ 

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