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They are not victims!

It can feel really hard to see a loved one go through difficulties. Especially if they withdraw and don´t want to change. But you have to remind yourself that they have equal access to source as everyone else on the planet, and they have equal access to the ever present guidance that flows from within – all they have to do is want to feel better and they will begin to hear it.

You cannot make them change their mind, that is not your job. You cannot arrange everything around them in pleasing ways so that they will feel better – feeling better has to come from within, otherwise they grow dependent on seeing pleasing things around them and will not have a stable emotional balance to stand on when bad things happen.

It is not your job to make them feel better, however, you can be of immense value to them by teaching by your example! Be the stable, loving, good-feeling, shining light of unconditional happiness that you truly are and see them as the free and empowered being you know they really are. They are not victims! They are strong, capable, free and empowered beings who have temporarily lost their emotional balance because of the way they have been thinking and focusing. But they CAN do something about that! And when they begin to realize that, they will begin to get their sense of freedom and empowerment back.

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He was unfaithful – how did I feel better again?

8 years ago I found out by accident that my boyfriend had been with another girl – and that he had lied about it for more than a year. At first I became totally emotionally numb for like 6 months. Then I started caring more about ME, what was important for me, how I wanted to FEEL. I completely let go of trying to control anything and focused more on general principles like “I want to be with a man who loves me, adores me, is attracted to me and truly wants to be with me” “if he leaves, then he is not a match to what I want anyway – I want someone who WANTS to be with me, only me” – I still have that attitude. 

Do I really want to live in a relationship where I have to control what he does, who he is with etc? No – I want to be with someone who WANTS to be with me. If he wants to be with me there is no need to second guess anything because it is ME he WANTS. 

We can’t force someone to treat us as we want them to – we can know how we want to be treated and know there are men out there who can gives us just that. Just like there are men who loves to be with more than one girl, there are men who loves to be with only one girl

Don’t give up on love or happiness just because of infidelity. It can be your opportunity to tune in to who YOU want to be, how YOU want to FEEL and it can be a golden opportunity for you to start loving yourself unconditionally. Yes, it can be your opportunity to find your way into your own freedom and empowerment. Whether you stay or go is irrelevant, you can do this either way. ❤

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