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When the uneasy feelings take over

This was supposed to be my last week at work before my summer break, however, since my babies have had chicken pox they are not allowed to come back to the day care center yet… so that means my summer break has officially begun now. I have been looking forward to getting away from the school building for quite some time now, so I should be relieved. But I am not. I am very uncomfortable and uneasy. My thoughts are constantly focused on what happened 9 months ago and especially on what will happen next year when this man who hurt me will be released from prison.

I keep telling myself that he will never dare to hurt me again, but I feel so uneasy about it. Every day that passes is a day closer to his release date. What if he has not given up his thoughts about me, what if he wants revenge? I couldn’t stop him last time, so how will I be able to stop him if he tries to hurt me again? This scares me so much. I just want to run away from this town, move far far away and never ever return. But do I really want to hide all my life? No. I will stay here, I will keep working at my job that I feel so passionate about. I will continue to live in my house and raise my children in this town. He cannot take that away from me. Yes, I am afraid butΒ it will not prevent me from living my life in ways that call me.

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When nobody cares about you – start caring about yourself πŸŒΉ

When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, learn to compliment yourself. It is not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It is up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside.”

– Jay Shetty

Being alone can actually make you stronger. Some people might argue with that and claim that you are more powerful when you team up with others who motivate and support you. Well, what if that is not avaliable? What if you are truly alone? Then you have no choice other than to begin to care about yourself and encourage yourself. That is where you find your unconditional strenght and your unconditional happiness. That is the very key to improving your life, regarding all aspects. πŸ™

No matter what happens, I will always believe in the goodness in everyone πŸ™

If you thought you could break me, you were wrong. I have been through worse, I am resilient and my strenght has increased because of you.

If you thought I would give up and hide, you were wrong. I stand here on a solid foundation, shining my bright light in all the beautiful colors I desire to.

If you thought I would forgive you, you were right. I still believe in the goodness in everyone, I am still the kind, caring woman I have always been. I still follow my bliss and I will always enjoy life in ways that please me.

Tomorrow will be celebrated in red πŸŒΉ

Tomorrow is the last day of school for my students. I always wear something bright and colorful like a red, green or blue dress on these days. Even if this school year would be best summarized in black I choose to end it with a bright, strong and happy colour. My favourite color. 🌹🌹🌹

My shattered heart will mend and my restless soul will find peace

The tears I have cried and the pain I have felt have shattered my heart and left my soul restless.

These scars are only temporary though, my heart will mend and my soul will find peace.

No matter what happens, you cannot break me, only bend me temporarily. I will rise stronger each time. My pain and insecurity will be my solid foundation on which I rebuild my strenght.

Find humor in the crazy situation and set yourself free

β€œMy focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.” – Jim Carrey

This is such a wonderful quote because it takes the edge off the pain. Instead of wallowing in your suffering and feeling sorry for yourself, find humor in this crazy situation and allow yourself to relax a little. Yes, you are allowed to smile and laugh, even in the midst of what you would call a painful situation. In fact, this might even be your way out of the pain. πŸ™

When things are really bad, the only thing to do is laugh.”

– Jim Carrey

The scars on your face, the pain when you smile and the shame in your eyes – it is temporary πŸ™

The scars on your face, the pain when you smile and the shame in your eyes – it is temporary, it does not define who you truly are. These are shallow and temporary aspects, your beauty shines from within and with time your beauty will radiate from every aspect of your skin as well.

Give yourself time. A scar needs time to heal, and you need to love yourself unconditionally, as you are. Your pain does not limit you, it is your inspiration to become even stronger.

Time heals all wounds? No, YOU heal all wounds πŸ™

No, it doesn’t get easier with time – it is you who get stronger. Time will pass, nevertheless, but the getting stronger part is up to you.

A really nice Friday – it is not the day but the place that makes the difference πŸ™

Today is Friday and I am at home with my babies and my boyfriend. It made me realize something valuable – it is not Fridays that make me feel uneasy, it is the place and the setting on Fridays that make me feel uneasy. Every Friday for the past 9 months when I have been at work, I have cried, broken down and felt really uneasy. Just being inside the school building has made my heart beat faster and I have felt really unsafe.

Yesterday was Ascention day and it is a holiday here in Sweden so I have been at home yesterday and today. This morning it just dawned on me, today is the first Friday where I feel really good, I feel happy, safe, secure and at peace.

So it is not Fridays but the place and setting on Fridays that make the difference. This is great news indeed, now I feel more hopeful about my progress. I don’t even have to be at work on Fridays anymore, until I go back to work in the end of August again – so now I have alot of time to relax and build up my inner strenght even further.

Calm, safe and secure πŸ™

I feel at peace, calm, safe and secure. I am so happy that I am free from work 4 days now. It will be a soothing, relaxing time at home with my babies. πŸ™

I am so grateful for how far I have come, the progress I have made and the inner peace I am beginning to feel.

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