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They are not victims!

It can feel really hard to see a loved one go through difficulties. Especially if they withdraw and don´t want to change. But you have to remind yourself that they have equal access to source as everyone else on the planet, and they have equal access to the ever present guidance that flows from within – all they have to do is want to feel better and they will begin to hear it.

You cannot make them change their mind, that is not your job. You cannot arrange everything around them in pleasing ways so that they will feel better – feeling better has to come from within, otherwise they grow dependent on seeing pleasing things around them and will not have a stable emotional balance to stand on when bad things happen.

It is not your job to make them feel better, however, you can be of immense value to them by teaching by your example! Be the stable, loving, good-feeling, shining light of unconditional happiness that you truly are and see them as the free and empowered being you know they really are. They are not victims! They are strong, capable, free and empowered beings who have temporarily lost their emotional balance because of the way they have been thinking and focusing. But they CAN do something about that! And when they begin to realize that, they will begin to get their sense of freedom and empowerment back.

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Lending money – saying no because you care ❤

Here is a brief update on the lending money topic I wrote about a few weeks ago. I have been asked to help out a very close friend financially every month for many years now, and I still do it. However, more people come to me for financial help – one of them is a person I hardly know. Today I got a message again from her, asking me for money. It just does not feel right anymore – so I finally said no. She has parents, her boyfriend has parents and they have lots of close friends. I and my boyfriend are on our own. Neither one of us has any parents and no one else around. Still I have helped this woman financially many times and at the same time given money to another friend almost monthly and my very close friend as well.

I have to listen to my own inner guidance and what feels best to me. This person who I hardly know will no longer get money from me. I have not given her any money since last time I wrote about this. However I will continue to help out my very close friend and occationally my other friend, as long as it feels ok. Most importantly, I will encourage their own financial independence. ❤

Dare to say no if it feels off to you!

Trying to be a people pleaser is very detrimental to your own emotional balance. You can’t do something you don’t really want to do, just to please someone else, without telling yourself that you don’t matter. And believe me, your every cell is listening 24/7 to the messages you send it. You send it messages with the thoughts you think, the words you speak and with the actions you take. If you want to know how your body feels about your messages, pay attention to your emotions. If you feel anything less than good, then your body is taking a hit from what you are currently doing, saying and thinking.

It is time for you to value yourself, to care for yourself and most importantly: it is time for you to love yourself.

One part in loving yourself is listening to what matters to you, what makes you feel good, what you desire, what you believe and what feels right to you. This means saying no when something feels off. Saying no does not have to be wrong or bad or something negative. It is just a choice! Choose what is right, choose what feels like most relief, choose to value how you feel.

Stop going against yourself in order to please someone else! It is not your job to please someone else – to be pleased is an inside job. Just like happiness. Just like love. Just like satisfaction. Just like any other emotion there is. It is all an inside job.

When you want to save everyone around you – be a light-house

Just rest in the knowing that all is well. You don’t have to have all the answers. It is enough that you do your best to sooth yourself into relief emotionally.

It is not your job to save everyone else – when you start with yourself and tend to your emotional balance you are of most value to others as well. You never see light-houses running around trying to save lost ships, they just stand strong and shine their light.

When everyone asks you for money

This month I have help out three friends financially. It began two weeks ago with a friend who I love dearly – he didn’t have any money left so I took him to the store and let him pick out all the groceries he needed. It was a lot of fun helping him out with this. I have helped him out financially a lot the last 10 months.

A week after that a very close friend of mine had made some bad choices (bought a lot of clothes and things without thinking about what to do when he had spent all his money) and had no money left. I have chosen to help him out fincially for the rest of the month. I have helped him out financially for over 10 years.

And last night I received a text from a neighbour that I have only met twice (in August last year) who has two little babies, they asked if I could give them some money since they didn’t have any money left this month… it didn’t feel ok. I have given them money 4 times since August… but I thought about their two little babies and the thought of them not having any food made it easy for me to give them some money.

And why do I write about this? Because I feel I have reached a point where I have become a person who people come to when they need money. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Sure it is fun to be able to help so many people each month and still have a lot of money left for me and my babies… but I feel this is no longer the right way of dealing with these “friends”. They only become more and more dependent on me and my money. I want them to find their own freedom and empowerment, their own responsibility for their finances.

My intention for next month is clear. I know what my focus is. It is time for a change – and I will begin right now.

Take care of yourself – be of most value to others

It all starts with you and how you feel. When you take care of yourself, when you show yourself love and appreciation and you value your emotions – now you will be of most value to others as well.

You will be more clear, more effective and of more value to those you interact with 🍀

Remember to relax and rest through out your day. Not just phtsically but mentally. It is so easy to get caught up in the desires and wishes of those around you at work and at home or to let your own demands on yourself get too heavy.

Remeber to pause and find your balance again. Stress is not good for your mind or your body. It is not worth it. Just pause, breathe and relax mentally. Look at it from a more general perspective and prioritise.

You have to value yourself and how you feel first. If you feel good you will be more clear, more effective and you will be of more value to those you interact with as well so it is a win win situation.

We need silence

“God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.”

Mother Teresa

Stuck in their own miserable way of thinking – they cannot hear your soothing words

Sometimes people (myself included) get so stuck in their own miserable way of thinking that they cannot even hear you when you try to sooth them into feeling better. They just keep asking the same old questions again and again, the words may be dressed differently but the core beliefs still shine through as bright as the full moon on a clear winter’s night.

No matter how many times and in how many ways you try to sooth them into feeling relief, they will not hear you. When they are so stuck in their own negative thinking they are not asking for your opinion or for a solution – even if they say they are wanting that – they are looking for confirmation and validation of their own misery. 

But don’t worry! This too shall pass, even for them. You are just not the path for them to take, right now. Don’t blame it on yourself if they cannot be soothed. Keep being the loving, caring being you are and know that they have all the guidance they will ever need within themselves. All they have to do is calm down, relax and be willing to let go of their own destructive thinking. One step at the time. Change starts within.

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