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You’re hot, then you’re cold – fuck you life

The first half of the day was really cold, I had to wear my autumn pants and a long sleeved top at work. But when I got home the weather had become a little warmer so I chose a shorter top for the afternoon.

The weather has been really weird the last couple of days. It has been super cold – almost like autumn. And today it was very bi-polar like 😂. Cold, then hot … then cold, then hot again… kind of like my mood lately. A lot of things have happened and are happening around me and I have not yet found my emotional stability.

Sometimes I just want to give up, say fuck you to life and run away. Just thinking that thought brings me a little relief. Fuck you life. Fuck you work. Fuck you new assignments. Fuck you annoying person at the day care center. Fuck you.

Yes indeed, it does feel better. I guess can stay in this general negative place for a while before I reach for more relief in more positive, general thoughts.

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The only thing that matters in my life: my two little babies ❤❤

Remind yourself of what really matters in life. For me it is my two little babies. I love them more than life itself.

I also feel good when I try on some clothes – like this beautiful dress I chose for tonight. But nothing brings me as much relief as the thought of my babies does. They are the only thing that truly matters in my life and the only ones I love. ❤

Your life is your canvas, each day is a new page

Imagine if today was a blank page… you could fill it with what ever your heart desires… it would be so different from yesterday’s page… full of color, light, passion and zest… full of ease, pleasure and satisfaction…

Your life is your canvas. Each day is a new page. Feel free to fill each new page with what you desire most. Let no one dim your light, let no one tell you what you fill your page with… follow your heart, listen to your calling and enjoy filling today’s page with what you desire most.

Once a bad guy always a bad guy? No 🌹 – he has a good heart and a kind soul

Ok this evening something happened that made me think a little. My ex, the one I moved in with when I was 17 who hit me a lot and hurt me physically and mentally for 1 1/2 years before he went to prison for what he did to me, started following me on instagram tonight. It felt weird.

I blocked him on Facebook many years ago after he sent a friend request… and I have not thought that much about him since… until two days ago when we were in Jönköping. He walked passed us when we were out shopping in Jönköping. I never even thought he would look me up and follow me on instagram though.

As I told my boyfriend about this he got really upset and said it was not ok and that I should block him immediately. But I didnt at first. Somehow I feel like I am tired of running away from my past. This was a guy I fell in love with when I was 17. A guy I lived with for 1 1/2 years. A guy who I know has a good heart and a kind soul who has been through a lot of horrible things as a child. I don’t blame him at all for how things played out when I was with him… 18 years ago. I was a completely different person back then, I had no self-esteem and I was so incredibly insecure. Of course we were a perfect match back then and our insecurities and trauma brought out the worst in us. But I don’t blame him – the fault is mine just as well.

We had our experiences together and I feel nothing but appreciation for the lessons it taught me. I want peace. I want relief. I want to let go and lovingly move on. I want to say I am sorry for everything, I want to say thank you for the experiences and the lessons and the growth I have been gifted with since this time. Thank you and I wish you nothing but peace, love and happiness in all aspects of your life. 🌹

But, after giving it some thought I decided to block him anyway. He might have good intentions and all that but for me it feels like relief to not have him following me at all.

When unwanted things are happening to you 24/7 – break the negative spell

It is so easy to just look around and react to what you are hearing, seeing and experiencing. But there is no power in that – true power lies in first choosing how you want to feel, unconditionally.

It is possible but it takes a little practice. It is easy to freak out when unwanted things are happening to you 24/7 – but someone has to break that negative spell and that someone is you. And you don’t do it by demanding the other person to change or the circumstances to go away – you do it by first choosing how you want to feel and make that feeling unconditional.

Free yourself from your self-imposed bondage

What brings you joy? What do you enjoy in life? Take a few moments to think about all those things that make you feel good and that brings you pleasure. Do more of those things every day.

This is your life, there is no point in spending your days in irritation, frustration, anger, depression or any other negative emotion. Free yourself from the self-imposed bondage that these limiting emotions are – set yourself free. Free to love, free to enjoy, free to play, free to have fun, free to feel good – unconditionally.

You don’t need to wait until you find a lover, until your skin clears up, until you get your dream job, until you get your body in shape or until you have the self-esteem you desire – you can begin now.

Tell yourself over and over that you will begin to be more light-hearted, more playful, more easy-going, more loving and that you will begin to allow yourself to feel good, unconditionally.

When your heart is dying and your soul is slowly suffocating

When it feels like you are standing on very unstable ground… when the storm within you tears you apart again and again with such painful force… and yet you smile and say thank you to those around you…

They know nothing about the brutal chaos within you that tears you apart… they don’t see, they don’t hear, they don’t care… all they see is your smile, all they hear is your kindness, all they care about is the successful results you bring… but all of that means nothing when your heart is dying and your soul is slowly suffocating…

Let go of your negative attitude and begin to ENJOY life

Start having more fun in each moment! Your purpose in life is to enjoy your journey in ways that call you.

  • Let go of your complaints – choose a slightly more optimistic perspective.
  • Let go of your guilt and of your insecurites – choose to begin to love yourself unconditionally.
  • Let go of your anger and jealousy – choose to enjoy the moment and look for things you appreciate with everyone and everything that happens.

There are so many good-feeling, little daily things you can begin to do. Be kind and gentle with yourself as you start improving your attitude, begin with the easy things and have fun with it! 🌹

Let your heart be crystal clear and pure

Your heart might be darkened with negativity and complaints – but even if it is from a life time of negativity the darkening is only temporary. The moment you stop the negativity, your heart begins to clear up. Let your heart be crystal clear and pure.

Intense inner pain and sadness – a practiced perception

Sometimes it feels like the world is a cold and lonely place, like your life is useless and you feel such intense inner pain and sadness. Those are the days when you should be even kinder to yourself, let yourself know that it is ok. How you feel is how you feel, make peace with it. Then acknowledge that it would be nice to feel a little relief and that you look forward to that. See this moment as a perfect moment to distract yourself with anything you can think of. You only feel bad as long as you think thoughts that feel bad. If you distract yourself with something else, you can distract yourself from these sad thoughts and when you do, you will feel relief.

It is actually a lot easier than you think. All it takes is 17 seconds of distraction and you will begin to feel better. Unless you choose to continue to think these painful thoughts. It is impossible to feel good when you think thoughts that feel bad – so that is where your work is: distract yourself until you feel relief.

But be kind to yourself! Feeling sad can be a habit, a habit of thinking. But even a habit is nothing more than a practiced perception, a practiced way of thinking. Once you begin to change the thoughts you think, ever so slightly, you will begin to see lasting changes in how you feel and what happens to you as well.

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