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The fear I felt froze every inch of my body, but you didn’t even hesitate

I cared about you and yet you took my kindness and my trust and shattered it into millions of pieces.

Your arms and hands were so strong, I didn’t have a chance. The pain and all the bruises you left on my body were nothing compared to the utter powerlessness I felt when tried to pull your hands away from my body, when I looked into your eyes and I begged you to stop, when I said no and you just put your cold hand firmly over my mouth… Then you did exactly what I feared you would do.

My body froze and my heart was beating so loud. The fear I felt froze every inch of my body. But you didn’t even hesitate.

I can forgive everything and I don’t want to hurt you back – I just want to get away from that suffocating powerless feeling that haunts me every second of every fucking moment of every fucking day. The feeling that no matter how much I tried to get you to stop, you didn’t. You crushed my most sacred boundary.

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All those things you are trying to hide are actually your most beautiful and unique features ❤️

Accepting yourself and how you look might take time, even several decades. It took me + 30 years to begin to like myself.

All those things you are trying to hide are actually your most beautiful and unique features.

I feel deeply, I am very sensitive and emotional. I now consider it a strenght. When I am sad, I am in deep despair. When I love, I love passionatly. When I am happy, I feel high on life. If I care about you, I truly deeply CARE about you. I feel everything, and that is one of my greatest strenghts.

I have snow white skin, all year round. I am out in the sun, playing with my babies sometimes 7-10 hours a day during the summer, yet my skin shines as brightly as silky white snow. I now consider this one of my beautiful, unique features. I love the contrast between my snow white skin, my blonde hair and the colorful clothes that I love to wear, (especially red clothes). It is such a beautiful contrast.

I used to hate wearing pants when I was a teenager because my legs and my butt never really fitted into the pants I tried on. My butt were always too big and my legs were always too long – but now I consider this one of my most loved features. I am very curvy, naturally, and very fit. I love my body shape! I adore wearing tight pants, skirts and dresses that highlight my beautiful curves.

I no longer try to hide who I am, I embrace all aspects of me and I practice self love and self acceptance every day. It has changed my entire way of looking at myself. It made me go from hating myself and having no self esteem what so ever, to actually loving myself exactly as I am. ❤️

Who hurt you so immensely that the joy in your eyes vanished and the love in your heart died?

How come when you smile, there is such pain in your eyes? How come your eyes tell another story than your calm voice?

What was it that made your heart so empty, your body so cold and your mind so dark? Who hurt you so immensely that the joy in your eyes vanished and the love in your heart died?

My shining light of hope in the darkest of nights 🙏

When I look into your eyes I see the dark, cold pain that you have felt and yet I see this bright light of hope in the far distance.

I admire your strenght, your resiliance and your kindness that keeps blossoming time after time again no matter how many times your branches were broken.

You stand tall, grounded, waiting patiently for the storm to pass. You are my shining light of hope in the darkest of nights. 🙏

I accept the pain, I make peace with it and I choose to fill my heart, my mind and my body with love once again 🙏

I will no longer let the pain cloud my vision

I will no longer let my dissatisfaction sadden my heart

I will no longer let my raging insecurity roam free

I choose to accept where I have been, what has happened and where I am right now. I accept it and I make peace with it.

I choose to let kindness, hope and trust sooth me and I choose to fill my heart, my mind and my body with love once again.

An insatiable longing for comfort

My lonely heart is burning painfully with an insatiable longing for comfort. Only you and your touch can calm my restless soul.

My shattered heart will mend and my restless soul will find peace

The tears I have cried and the pain I have felt have shattered my heart and left my soul restless.

These scars are only temporary though, my heart will mend and my soul will find peace.

No matter what happens, you cannot break me, only bend me temporarily. I will rise stronger each time. My pain and insecurity will be my solid foundation on which I rebuild my strenght.

This pain cuts through my heart like a blinding flash of lightning

Let me wallow in my sadness,

Let me get lost in my despair

All this pain that cuts through my heart like a blinding flash of lightning,

All this havoc in my mind like a twirling tornado

And yet faith shines eternally within me and I know that when the raging storm passes, my ocean will be calm again

When it feels so awful you can hardly breathe and you are boiling with anger, resentment and frustration

When you are in a situation that feels so awful you can hardly breathe and you are boiling with anger, resentment and frustration on the inside – how do you break this negative cycle?

The first step is to make peace with your emotions. Say things like: “This is how I feel, and that is ok. What has happened has happened, I am where I am. If I had known better I would have acted differently, but what happened happened and I choose to make peace with it.”

The second step is to acknowledge that the emotional pain you are feeling is not really about the situation itself but a product of your own thoughts and beliefs about the situation. The great part about this is that you can change your thinking about this situation and therfore you can affect how you feel. You cannot change what happened, you cannot go back in time and act differently – but you can change how you view the situation and that will make all the difference!

When you change how you view it, you will not only change how you feel but you will also prepare yourself mentally for the next time these limiting thoughts come up, so there is a valuable and strengthening bonus in this! Next time you end up in a smilar situation you will act differently because you have changed your thoughts regarding this topic.

I no longer fear those awful Friday feelings – I embrace my insecurities

It is Thursday evening and I am already feeling uneasy about tomorrow. It is so silly really, I know no one will hurt me again, yet I get so uneasy simply because it is a Friday. My co-workers all leave early so after 12 o’clock I am the only teacher left in our hallway, as always.

I don’t know how to get passed these uneasy Friday feelings, other than just accepting them. I feel uneasy, worried and anxious about beeing at work tomorrow – and that is ok. I will no longer try to distract myself or ignore my feelings, I will do as I did last Friday: I will embrace my insecurities. I choose to feel these uneasy emotions and go to work, anyway. I will have my lessons, I will help my students and I will get through the 6 hours I have to be in the school building.

Then I will go home and later I will meet a friend in Jönköping. It is going to be a nice Friday. 🙏

  • Do you have something that makes you uneasy? Can you think of a way to help yourself embrace how you feel and get through it?

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