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Emotionally in a very dark place this year

This year has been really tough on me so far, emotionally I have been in a very dark place almost every day. No wonder I keep getting sick again and again and again. But it is ok, this is just a brief moment of my entire life journey, I will feel better again. And until I do – I will make the best of each moment. ❤

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I really, really look forward to autumn 🤣

Everyone is so happy because spring/summer is finally here in Sweden. Today we have had 20 degrees celcius, really warm winds and lots of sunshine. This is not my kind of weather 😂, I already miss autumn with its cold, dark and rainy evenings.

But… I will try to make the best of these bright months ahead 🤣. Wearing cute dresses, tops and skirts will be something nice with spring/summer. I kind of like that part at least – and that I have 8 weeks of summer holiday with my two babies 😍😍😍. Well now I feel so much better. 😊😊😊 And warm, summer’s nights in August… when you can hear the magical soothing sounds of crickets all night. ❤❤❤ That is one of my favourite things about summer.

  • What do you enjoy most about summer?

Rest, reset and recover 🌟

“How do I feel better when everything sucks and I feel awful?!” ❤

“And so you say, “How do I do it?” You do it by saying

It’s alright. I’m just fine. All is well. There, there. Everything is alright. Perfect place. Perfect time. This is Who-I-Am. I was born to be here. I am on my path. This is the trajectory of Who-I-Am. I’m Pure Positive Energy. Everything is just right. I could not be doing it better. I’m following inspiration. I’m getting better at that all the time. Pure Positive Energy surrounds me. I am adored. This environment that surrounds me inspires me to more. I’m constantly achieving it. I never get it done. I can’t get it wrong. All is really well with me. I feel good so much of the time. Pure Positive Energy surrounds me. All is well. It’s alright. It’s alright. Everything is alright. I’m doing just fine. I’m doing really good. Source adores me. I feel the inspiration all the time. Ideas are flowing. I receive the ideas. I get inspiration. Sometimes I don’t feel like doing something. That’s inspiration too. Sometimes I want rest. That’s inspiration too. Sometimes there is more resistance than I can overcome. That’s alright. It will return. There’s an ebb and flow in all of this. Sometimes I have more resistance. I know it. I feel it. Sometimes I have less resistance. I know it. I feel it. Everything is working out just fine. I’ve put it in the Vortex. It is inevitable. My well-being is assured. I’m supposed to be having fun here. Life is supposed to be fun. My Inner Being is delighting in the life that I have carved out. It is time for me to delight in the life that I’ve carved out.”

In other words, it’s just talking to yourself like that. No specific terms. Just general terms.”

Abraham Hicks

Why would such a beautiful girl like me hate myself for over 30 years and have no self-esteem? Here is why:

I got such a brilliant question today and here is my answer:

I grew up with an alcoholic father and my parents mentally abused me. I was sexually abused when I was 6 years old by 3 older guys, I was bullied in school, had reading and writing difficulties, had no friends, developed anorexia (an eating disorder) when I was 9 years old, had no friends during my entire school years, was raped by two guys when I was 17, ran away from home two weeks after that because my father’s alcohol abuse was insane and my parents were so verbally mean to me, I ran straight into the arms of a guy who physically and mentally abused me for over two years until he was sentenced to prison for it. During this time my mother died. I had to go through the two trials all alone – I had no one. I was completely alone, no friends and no one in the world that I could talk to. I did not want to live anymore – I even tried to take my own life. Then my father died, I got pregnant and had to make an abortion…and the man of my dreams cheated on me and lied about it for over a year until the truth came out in the most painful way ever… somewhere there, around the age of 24, I decided that enough is enough and I chose to change my thinking. I started working on liking myself. I did it all by myself – I never told ANYONE about any of these things that happened to me in my childhood/teenage years. It was not until I was almost 30 years old I began talking about it.

So, I guess this answers your question on why such a beautiful girl like me, hated myself for almost 30 years and had absolutely no self-esteem 🤣❤

How you FEEL has nothing to do with the way you look. I had my desired, dream body, but I hated myself and had no self-esteem for almost 30 years. Beauty does not mean confidence. You cant see how you feel, it is 100% about your own thinking – and you CAN do something about that. If I could, all by myself, anyone can. 🌹❤

30 years of hating myself ❤

A friend triggered me into thinking a little this morning. I realized that after having spent around 30 years absolutely hating myself and hating my entire body and face – hating everything about me – I still have a long way to go. 🌟

But I will not give up, I am still on my journey, it is a never ending journey. Some days I feel better about myself and some days I don’t. I am making slow and steady progress. It is all in my head, all about my thoughts, and I have already come such a long way! 10 years ago I was a completely different person (even though I looked exactly the same ). These things cannot be seen, it is an insecurity within.

My kind of busy ❤

Take a break from all that you are

Take a break from who you are and who you have been. Take a break from all the complaining, and all the criticism. Take a break from pointing out flaws in others, and take a break from disliking yourself.

Take a break. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax. Breathe out all the old ways and breathe in new, fresh, positive, loving perspecives.

Give yourself a break – you have been doing the best you could. Allow yourself the ease of making peace with it all and start fresh and new in this moment.

Hurtful actions comes from inner pain 🌹

You are a beautiful diamond ❤

This too shall pass and you will become stronger, more confident, more loving, more happy and more empowered because of the experience. It is all of value! Everything can benefit you if you choose to let it. ❤

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