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My nightmare came back – I faced it this time and it had an awful ending

Ok so my nightmare came back- the same nightmare I have had over 30 years now. The scenery is always the same, there is something very evil and dangerous after me and my only way of protecting myself is to lock a door between me and the evil thing who wants to hurt and kill me – and the door is always impossible to lock. I do all the right things, I lock the door perfectly but it is always unlocked anyway. So scary.

This time I was in my grandmother’s old house, I was alone with my two little babies and it was really dark because it was in the middle of the night.

An evil man was out there trying to get to me and my babies. I did everything I could to quickly lock the door but of course it remained unlocked no matter how hard I tried to lock it. The man came seconds after I tried locking the door and I just held on to the door handle as hard as I could to keep the man from coming in but it was impossible because he was so strong and I was too weak. He forcefully opened the door immediately and I knew we were in deadly danger. My only thought was that I have to protect my little babies, no matter what.

This is where the dream turned worse because it usually ends there. Now I was forced outside in the dark night and the evil man started beating me up. He used his fists and he kicked me as hard as he could, I protected myself as strongly as I could but more evil men came to help him. It felt like such a losing battle but I never gave up, I kept protecting myself and my babies. Finally I managed to call the police, who didn’t even want to know where I was, they just said they would get there. The fight continued for what felt like an hour and suddenly the men changed their tactic when they realized the police might get there soon. They started cutting me with a knife and hurt themselves really badly with their own knife too just to make it look like I was the bad guy, like I was the one attacking them. It felt so sick!

Then the evil twist and evil ending came – an evil devil magician turned up. His face was hideous and his eyes were glowing green with pure evil. I don’t know why but he just turned up and smiled an evil smile at me as he saw how much the other men hit me, I cried out to him “can you help me with these men?” And I regretted asking it the second I said it. He smiled and said that he was happy I asked for his help. Then he touched the men and they turned into beautiful, perfect, good people – the evil man who had hit me the most and had been so filled with blood and wounds that he had inflicted himself with, he turned into a beautiful blond princess-looking good person. Immaculate. And the other men turned into perfect looking good-guys. Immaculate. Then the evil devil magician waved his magic at me and everything changed. I was completely naked, dirty, black hair, drunk and was sitting on a bed inside the house completely passed out. My babies were still outside, alone. Then the police came.

I was aware of everything that had happened all of a sudden, from a broader perspective like I had been watching a movie. And suddenly I was looking at the whole scenery like a movie, I was no longer the woman in the movie. I was me, watching this movie with my boyfriend and I remember saying how much I hated this movie, that the ending was so evil, so unfair and that Steven King must have directed this movie.

Then I woke up.

So weird. I guess the best part was that in the end it turned out to be just a movie.

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How to be more present and feel better

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Take a deep breath and become more aware of this moment. Before you listen to someone else, before you speak to someone else – ask yourself “How do I want to act in this situation? What matters most right now? How do I want to feel? How do I want this other person to feel as he interacts with me? And focus on those good-feeling emotions and scenarios that you want to experience.

Even if someone else is very distracted or even rude to you – take a deep breath and focus on how you want to act, how you want to feel.

The problem is part of the solution

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