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Why would such a beautiful girl like me hate myself for over 30 years and have no self-esteem? Here is why:

I got such a brilliant question today and here is my answer:

I grew up with an alcoholic father and my parents mentally abused me. I was sexually abused when I was 6 years old by 3 older guys, I was bullied in school, had reading and writing difficulties, had no friends, developed anorexia (an eating disorder) when I was 9 years old, had no friends during my entire school years, was raped by two guys when I was 17, ran away from home two weeks after that because my father’s alcohol abuse was insane and my parents were so verbally mean to me, I ran straight into the arms of a guy who physically and mentally abused me for over two years until he was sentenced to prison for it. During this time my mother died. I had to go through the two trials all alone – I had no one. I was completely alone, no friends and no one in the world that I could talk to. I did not want to live anymore – I even tried to take my own life. Then my father died, I got pregnant and had to make an abortion…and the man of my dreams cheated on me and lied about it for over a year until the truth came out in the most painful way ever… somewhere there, around the age of 24, I decided that enough is enough and I chose to change my thinking. I started working on liking myself. I did it all by myself – I never told ANYONE about any of these things that happened to me in my childhood/teenage years. It was not until I was almost 30 years old I began talking about it.

So, I guess this answers your question on why such a beautiful girl like me, hated myself for almost 30 years and had absolutely no self-esteem 🤣❤

How you FEEL has nothing to do with the way you look. I had my desired, dream body, but I hated myself and had no self-esteem for almost 30 years. Beauty does not mean confidence. You cant see how you feel, it is 100% about your own thinking – and you CAN do something about that. If I could, all by myself, anyone can. 🌹❤

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The one thing that hurt me the most and ripped me apart ❤

It was not the sexual abuse, it was not the physical abuse, it was not the mental abuse, it was not the eating disorders, it was not the bullying, it was not the loneliness, it was not my alcoholic parents, it was not the deaths of my parents… or any of the other things that happened to me.

I was the one who let the opinions of others affect my opinion of me, which ripped me apart.

And I was the one who decided to start liking myself again.

No matter what – YOU – have all the power you will ever need within. ❤

1900 followers and 527 550 views ❤❤❤

My blog is my safe haven. This is where I share not only my joy, my passion and my desires but also where I share what works for me and how I transformed my life.

I have been sexually abused multiple times, physically abused, mentally abused, had an alcoholic father, I had eating disorders, been bullied, my mother died when I was 18 and my father died when I was 24 years old… I hated myself for almost 3 decades and had no self-esteem… but managed to save myself by changing my thinking. Little by little, step by step. All by myself.

And I succeeded. I have a very strong self-esteem and I have manifested so many things around me that I love. My life continues to improve all the time. I have two babies that I love and adore, a job I love, a cozy big house, a nice car, the body of my dreams… but all those things are just bonuses. The really important thing is that I feel so much better. I no longer have the victim mentality but an empowered way of viewing life. I am not always on top emotionally – it is a never ending journey – but most of the time I feel really good. This blog is where I share what works for me and what I believe.

My blog now has more than 1900 followers and has had over 527 550 views. This is incredible. Thank you all for the love and appreciation you give me everyday. I truly value you all. I am so happy that you are with me and that you enjoy my blog, it means a lot to me. Thank you.

How do you deal with your panic attacks and your anxiety?

Ever since I was a little girl I have had flashes of panic attacks and days filled with anxiety, sometimes several days in a row, every week. 

When I grew up I had no idea how to handle these awful, intense feelings and it resulted in a lot of anger and depression. Back then I also felt like a powerless victim to everything that happened to me… my alcoholic father, the bullying, my eating disorders, the sexual abuse, the physical abuse, the death of my parents… everything just added to my panic attacks and my anxiety.

It was not until I was 24 years old that I – completely on my own – began improving how I felt about myself and how I handled my mood swings. Little by little I began liking myself and I developed a strong, beautiful self esteem. 

From that point on everything in my life improved as well. I got a job I loved, met an amazing man and my self-esteem continued to grow stronger and stronger. It took time but I managed to go from feeling like a powerless victim to feeling like an empowered woman.

However, my panic attacks and my anxiety is still with me every week. Even though I have the body of my dreams, two little babies, a job I love and an amazing boyfriend… I am, however, better at soothing myself once I get hit with theses awful emotions, and I am an expert at hiding how I feel at work and so on… but the feelings are still as intense as when I was a little girl. 

Some days, like today, I feel no desire to continue living. It is so strange because the feelings are so intense and so real… but tomorrow they might be gone again. That gives me some relief, to know that this too shall pass. Until it passes I treat myself to a lot of delicious food and play a lot with my cute little babies.

How do you handle your panic attacks and your anxiety?

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