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Just say no – walk away

You are under no obligation to please the people that make you feel uncomfortable. Trust your emotions and honor yourself by following what feels like relief to you. Say no, walk away… there is no need for you to justify or explain. You are entitled to say no. You are entitled to walk away. ❤

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Because of all the pain and suffering – you can become the most confident, beautiful, happy and empowered person ever🌹

It doesn’t matter what you have been through or how difficult your life might seem at the moment – you can let all of it inspire you to now become more confident, beautiful, happy, loving and empowered.

Easily said but is it really true? Is it possible? Of course it is! All it takes is a very, very small desire within you to feel better. That is all. If you have that wanting, no matter how slight, then you can do it. No matter what. It doesn’t matter if you have spent your entire life hating yourself and feeling like a powerless victim – you can become the most confident, blissful, beautiful and empowered person, now.

I grew up with an alcoholic father and my parents mentally abused me all through my childhood until they died – whether they ment to or not. I was sexually abused by three older boys when I was around 6 years old. I was bullied in school, I had reading and writing difficulties, I got anorexia when I was 9 years old, I was raped by two boys when I was 17. I ran away from home a few weeks after that, straight into the arms of an older guy who also had an alcohol addiction and who abused me physically and mentally for almost two years before there was a trial and he went to prison. During that time my mother died. I had no self-esteem what so ever and I absolutely hated myself, I felt like a powerless victim and even wanted to end my life. Then I got pregnant and had to make an abortion, the love of my life cheated on me and then my father died. 🤣

Somewhere around that time – when I was 24 years old – I decided that enough is enough and I felt that I wanted to feel better about myself. So, I began improving my thinking about myself and everything else and little by little I blossomed into the most confident, happy and empowered woman I had always desired to me. As a bonus, I got a job I adored and still work at, got the boyfriend I desired, got huge pay raises, got pregnant twice and had my two little babies… but all of those things are just great bonuses – the most important thing is: I feel good about myself. If I could do it, anyone can. ❤

Yes! I said no 😄

I am getting really good at saying no. This week I said no to six men on facebook and instagram who wrote inappropriate things to me. I was clear and firm with my no. When they didn’t stop – (and non of them did) I just easily blocked them. Now they will never be able to see my posts, comment or contact me again. Feels awesome! No more polite turn downs – I have a right to just say “no”. It is MY choice.

I also said no to this person who has asked me for money somewhere around ten times since September. He always asks me at night, at the same time of the month, and he always wants me to keep quiet about it. Well – no more! I said no straight away tonight when I got his message. He didn’t even bother to reply but it felt soooooooooo good to finally say no! 😊

I am loving this fresh and new approach to life, people and most importantly to myself. I honor myself by listening to what feels good to me and what feels off, if it feels off I choose what feels like relief instead. Way to go, me! 😄🌹🌹🌹

“But there is so much pain, suffering and anger in this world”

Someone has to begin spreading the love, and it might as well be you.

Someone has to begin looking for things that are working, things to appreciate and things to value – and it might as well be you.

Someone has to look beyond the suffering, beyond the pain, beyond the anger and see the potential for improvements, happiness and love – and it might as well be you.

Someone has to believe, someone has to be hopeful, someone has to love unconditionally and feel good unconditionally – and it might as well be you.

You can’t rid the world of darkness by condemning it, complaining about it and keep focusing on it – you allow your own inner light to shine, and you have brought light to your part of your world. Others can see your light and some might be inspired to light their own light. But someone has to start – and it might as well be you. 🌟

Being nice and polite is not always right – a painful childhood memory

This is something I have never written about before, and only a few people know about this. When I was around 7 years old I loved taking my teddy bear (actually a panda) out for a walk in my red toy-stroller. My parents allowed me to walk around the block alone, which only took 5-10 minutes. One cold but sunny day when I was out doing this, all alone, a foreign man approached me. I guess he was around 45-50 years old, dark hair and tall. It all happened so quickly. He gestured toward me that he wanted me to come to him, and I wanted to be polite so I obeyed. When I was close to him everything about him changed, he quickly placed his hands on either side of my face and forced my face close to his and kissed me. I still remember his tongue pressing into my mouth and the strong minty flavour of his mouth. I panicked, I was trapped and I didn’t know what to do. No one was around, no one saw us. His car was just a few meters away and he grabbed my hand saing “come” and gently tried to pull me to his car. Somehow I managed to get my hand back, shook my head no and began walking very quickly in the direction of my home. He called after me, as I turned my head to look at him, he gave me a blow kiss in the air and he still gestured that he wanted me to come back to him. I soon began running and tears were streaming down my face. I told my mother what happened the minute I got home and she rushed out to our car and went to find this man. She never did. She went to the police but they never found him either.

In this situation I tried to be nice and polite. I stopped when he approached me and wanted to talk to me. I didn’t scream, kick or bite – I was too chocked and afraid to do anything.

🌹🌹🌹 🌹🌹🌹

The event that happened tonight with the old man who has begun stalking me and who approached me in an uncomfortable way two days ago triggered this memory to return.

Not once did I write about this in my book or on my blog. I think I have only told this to two or three people, and it was probably 10 years ago.

There are millions of memories in my past, just like this one, that I never speak of. I tell people about some of the other things that have happened to me, like that my father was an alcoholic, that I was sexually abused at the age of 6 by three older boys, that I was bullied in school, had reading/writing difficulties, had anorexia, was raped by two boys when I was 17, ran away from home, lived in an abusive relationship for almost two years, my mother died when I was 18, my father died a few years after that and much more.

I kept all these things a secret within me the first 20-something years of my life. Never told anyone what was happening to me. Now that I have begun sharing my story a little (I am 34 years old now) I realize there are so many more pieces in this puzzle, so many more events that I have kept hidden for so long.

It actually feels refreshing to get it out in the open and finally letting it go. I will no longer carry these heavy secrets within my heart, I will let them go and finally be free. ❤ Stay tuned for more memories that I will let go of – which I may choose to share, or not. In either case I will no longer keep them hidden within me, I will open my heart and set them free.

I will no longer sacrify my own wellbeing in order to be kind, polite and well-behaved. I refuse to fit in, I refuse to be ashamed, I refuse to feel guilty, I refuse to blame. Instead I embrace myself, trust myself, value myself, honor myself, support myself and love myself in the process of letting these memories go.

Thank you dear rascal for triggering this memory in me, thank you for inspiring me to once and for all stop being so bloody nice and start valuing and trusting my instinct. 🌹

Your days as a helpless victim or an angry abuser is over – it is time to feel good and enjoy your life!

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Your life is YOUR LIFE. How you feel should be your number one priority on your every to do list. Everything else comes second after this, that is how important this aspect is. I asked a friend today how he felt about himself. He said he hated himself and that he has always hated himself. That, to me, is an important key to why everything else in his life is not working. He has been running around trying to fix all the broken pieces of his life without first tending to the most important part – the one that keeps all other pieces together: how you feel about yourself.

Even if you have spent your entire life hating yourself, it is never too late. All it takes is a willingness to feel better. That is it. As long as you want to feel better and want to find a way to feel better, you can. But you have to stop blaming your past, your parents, your teachers, your friends, your work, your boss, your lovers, your failures, your mistakes, your experiences and all other things you can think of to blame. Stop it. And stop blaming yourself!!!! You always do the best you can do given the circumstances, the knowledge you have at the time and the desires and beliefs you hold. That is ok! Make peace with all that has been and all that is. Focus 100% on you now, on how you want to feel.

Take it one small gentle step at a time, one moment at a time. Listen to what you say about yourself to others and in your own mind. Are those loving, supportive and optimistic words? If not, begin to change your words ever so slightly in a more loving and kind way.

How you view yourself and what you think about yourself affect every single aspect of you, your body, your health and your entire life – and you can do something about it! In fact, you are the only one who can do something about it! No one else can enter your mind and think your thoughts for you, no matter how well-meaning they are. You can find inspiration in other people´s stories and in their words – but you have to do the work. It is an inside job, you are 100% in control of this, you are in charge and you can begin right now.

I am letting go of the old and embracing the new ❤

Why would such a beautiful girl like me hate myself for over 30 years and have no self-esteem? Here is why:

I got such a brilliant question today and here is my answer:

I grew up with an alcoholic father and my parents mentally abused me. I was sexually abused when I was 6 years old by 3 older guys, I was bullied in school, had reading and writing difficulties, had no friends, developed anorexia (an eating disorder) when I was 9 years old, had no friends during my entire school years, was raped by two guys when I was 17, ran away from home two weeks after that because my father’s alcohol abuse was insane and my parents were so verbally mean to me, I ran straight into the arms of a guy who physically and mentally abused me for over two years until he was sentenced to prison for it. During this time my mother died. I had to go through the two trials all alone – I had no one. I was completely alone, no friends and no one in the world that I could talk to. I did not want to live anymore – I even tried to take my own life. Then my father died, I got pregnant and had to make an abortion…and the man of my dreams cheated on me and lied about it for over a year until the truth came out in the most painful way ever… somewhere there, around the age of 24, I decided that enough is enough and I chose to change my thinking. I started working on liking myself. I did it all by myself – I never told ANYONE about any of these things that happened to me in my childhood/teenage years. It was not until I was almost 30 years old I began talking about it.

So, I guess this answers your question on why such a beautiful girl like me, hated myself for almost 30 years and had absolutely no self-esteem 🤣❤

How you FEEL has nothing to do with the way you look. I had my desired, dream body, but I hated myself and had no self-esteem for almost 30 years. Beauty does not mean confidence. You cant see how you feel, it is 100% about your own thinking – and you CAN do something about that. If I could, all by myself, anyone can. 🌹❤

Alcohol, drugs … it is all just temporary relief, not lasting happiness 💖

Happiness – true, lasting happiness, freedom and empowerment comes from within. Not from millions of likes on a selfie, not from food, not from chocolate, not from sex, not from drugs, not from alcohol, not from money… not from anything else other than from within.

Break free of your broken self 💖

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