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When the uneasy feelings take over

This was supposed to be my last week at work before my summer break, however, since my babies have had chicken pox they are not allowed to come back to the day care center yet… so that means my summer break has officially begun now. I have been looking forward to getting away from the school building for quite some time now, so I should be relieved. But I am not. I am very uncomfortable and uneasy. My thoughts are constantly focused on what happened 9 months ago and especially on what will happen next year when this man who hurt me will be released from prison.

I keep telling myself that he will never dare to hurt me again, but I feel so uneasy about it. Every day that passes is a day closer to his release date. What if he has not given up his thoughts about me, what if he wants revenge? I couldn’t stop him last time, so how will I be able to stop him if he tries to hurt me again? This scares me so much. I just want to run away from this town, move far far away and never ever return. But do I really want to hide all my life? No. I will stay here, I will keep working at my job that I feel so passionate about. I will continue to live in my house and raise my children in this town. He cannot take that away from me. Yes, I am afraid butΒ it will not prevent me from living my life in ways that call me.

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22 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. walkingthroughpsalms
    Jun 19, 2019 @ 18:23:12

    Hoping that you will feel safe and have a peace about it.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  2. hcmorris77
    Jun 19, 2019 @ 19:54:46

    Sending love and peace your way! You will get through this…one day at a time! Keep smiling

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  3. davidjhopcroft
    Jun 19, 2019 @ 20:01:06

    However difficult it can be at times you cannot live a life in fear. I hope your children recover quickly from chickenpox πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  4. Gaz πŸ–– (@garydlum)
    Jun 19, 2019 @ 20:19:16

    Hoping you remain safe in your home and your town forever. Hopefully, the prison system in your country has made some effort to help rehabilitate this person so he understands what he did wrong, owns it, and never do it again to anyone.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  5. twisted thoughts
    Jun 19, 2019 @ 20:59:58

    Taking a self defense course would go a long way in relieving those uneasy feelings. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  6. Adam Kaz
    Jun 19, 2019 @ 21:17:06

    While I don’t know all of the details to your struggles, you need to remember that first and foremost the well-being of your the loves of your life, your babies. I don’t mean to sound like I’m trying to tell you how to live you life, but as a parent of two little boys myself, if I felt they were in danger, or felt like their daddy were in danger, I would take all the precautions necessary to make sure we’re all safe. You mentioned a consideration of leaving town. I absolutely agree that it wouldn’t be fair for you to run, but you can look at it another way… look at it as an excuse to leave town and go ANYWHERE you’d like. Think of it as new adventure. Embrace your curiosity. I know it’s easier said than done, I get it. But its something to think about.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  7. Barney Rubble
    Jun 19, 2019 @ 22:19:41

    Hope you’re ok. Best wishes for today πŸΏπŸ¦”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  8. Ancient Skies
    Jun 20, 2019 @ 02:38:17

    I thought of something……self defense classes are a great way of getting exercise and they can build confidence. Some are especially for women. Or you can take martial arts with the same goal in mind. I took Tae Kwon Do (Korean) when I was young. It can make a tremendous difference internally, and give one a real boost. Just a thought.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  9. Neeti Manon
    Jun 20, 2019 @ 08:23:09

    I never realized that you are going through such tough conditions… I will pray for your family safety and welfare.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  10. thereluctantpoet
    Jun 21, 2019 @ 01:22:53

    My heart goes out to you!!! I know that you have faith and are stronger because of it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!!
    xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • joypassiondesire
      Jun 21, 2019 @ 05:11:15

      Thank you. I get dayslike that every now and then. Usually one time a week, but I know it will pass until the next day. 🌼 🌼 🌼 I am making beautiful progress. πŸ™

      Like

      Reply

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