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The fear I felt froze every inch of my body, but you didn’t even hesitate

I cared about you and yet you took my kindness and my trust and shattered it into millions of pieces.

Your arms and hands were so strong, I didn’t have a chance. The pain and all the bruises you left on my body were nothing compared to the utter powerlessness I felt when tried to pull your hands away from my body, when I looked into your eyes and I begged you to stop, when I said no and you just put your cold hand firmly over my mouth… Then you did exactly what I feared you would do.

My body froze and my heart was beating so loud. The fear I felt froze every inch of my body. But you didn’t even hesitate.

I can forgive everything and I don’t want to hurt you back – I just want to get away from that suffocating powerless feeling that haunts me every second of every fucking moment of every fucking day. The feeling that no matter how much I tried to get you to stop, you didn’t. You crushed my most sacred boundary.

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When I became a mother, my life changed completely β€οΈ

This picture was taken in October 2014, 8 weeks after I had given birth to my first baby. It was a very exciting experience to be pregnant and going through the giving birth process. She truly is my very first meaning of life πŸ₯° – my entire world changed the second I held her in my arms for the first time. It was true love, a love stronger than anything I had ever felt before. A love that intensifies with each passing second.

These pictures were taken in March 2016, 4 weeks after I had given birth to my second baby. This experience was really cool because I was all alone when I went through all the labour pains and when I woke up my boyfriend (because the labour pains came closer than a minute apart), the final stage began. I gave birth to my baby boy as the ambulance arrived πŸ˜‚, they were too late. It was the coolest experience ever and I was so happy and high on life after this. My world got even more meaningful when I held him in my arms for the first time. The love I feel for him is as strong and intense and pure as my love for my baby girl. ❀️

My two little babies are my everything, my world, my meaning of life. Words cannot even begin to express how much I love them. I will forever feel blessed for having them and I bless my body for carrying them for 9 months and for easily giving birth and easily recover. Our bodies are AMAZING, capable of such magic. πŸ™ ❀️

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