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This pain cuts through my heart like a blinding flash of lightning

Let me wallow in my sadness,

Let me get lost in my despair

All this pain that cuts through my heart like a blinding flash of lightning,

All this havoc in my mind like a twirling tornado

And yet faith shines eternally within me and I know that when the raging storm passes, my ocean will be calm again

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A really nice Friday – it is not the day but the place that makes the difference πŸ™

Today is Friday and I am at home with my babies and my boyfriend. It made me realize something valuable – it is not Fridays that make me feel uneasy, it is the place and the setting on Fridays that make me feel uneasy. Every Friday for the past 9 months when I have been at work, I have cried, broken down and felt really uneasy. Just being inside the school building has made my heart beat faster and I have felt really unsafe.

Yesterday was Ascention day and it is a holiday here in Sweden so I have been at home yesterday and today. This morning it just dawned on me, today is the first Friday where I feel really good, I feel happy, safe, secure and at peace.

So it is not Fridays but the place and setting on Fridays that make the difference. This is great news indeed, now I feel more hopeful about my progress. I don’t even have to be at work on Fridays anymore, until I go back to work in the end of August again – so now I have alot of time to relax and build up my inner strenght even further.

The grass is greener where you water it πŸŒ±

It does not matter if you are rich or poor, if you have all the things you have ever dreamed of or if you do not have anything at all – how you feel matters more than anything.

Being fullfilled and successful in life is not about what you have, what you can do or how much money you have – to me, being fullfilled and successful means way more than just mere possessions. To me, it means being happy, feeling good, enjoying life and loving being alive.

I have friends who go abroad on holiday several times every year, who also own beautiful new cars and have a lot of money – some of them are happy but some of them are really unhappy and depressed. What you have and what you own does not equal your amount of happiness in life. Sure, you can do a lot more if you have a lot of money – but how you feel is always an inside job and you can not fix how you truly feel by buying new and exciting things. Things only affect your emotional state in a shallow, short term manner, you have to do the inner work as well. The grass is always greener where you water it, and how you feel always depends on the thoughts you choose to think.

My everything πŸ¦„πŸ¦–πŸ’–πŸ’–

My two little babies are my everything. When my baby girl was born, in 2014, and when my baby boy was born, in 2016, my life changed completely. πŸ’– Nothing matters more to me than my babies. They are my meaning of life πŸ₯° πŸ₯°, my everything.

A reliefgiving rainy Thursday πŸ™

It has been a wonderful day. I feel so relaxed and at peace. We have spent the entire day inside since it is very cold and rainy outside – my favourite weather. πŸŒ§οΈπŸ™ I always feel so much better when it is raining.

We decided to have a barbeque, because I was craving hamburgers like crazy πŸ™ƒπŸ˜‚πŸ₯°. They were so delicious, I actually ate three πŸ”πŸ”πŸ”.

Right now I am lying in bed, relaxing with my babies. It has been such a soothing, relaxing day. But the best part is that we will stay at home tomorrow too. πŸ™πŸŒΉπŸŒΉπŸŒΉ

  • How was your day?

Take the road less traveled by and make your life your masterpiece πŸ’Ž

“Well-behaved women rarely make history”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Don’t bow down your head in shame and guilt, don’t let society’s harsh views bring you down. You are not your mistakes, you are not your past, and you are not someone else’s limited version of you.

Let your mistakes and all your unwanted experiences be the solid foundation on which you stand. Stand tall with your feet firmly on the ground. Speak your truth, loud and clear and let there be compassion and love in your heart, no matter how badly you were treated.

Follow your bliss and believe in yourself, let hope be the eternal light that shines within you. Never let society or any individual dim your light, keep believing and dare to do what they deem impossible. Take
the road less traveled by and make your life your masterpiece.

Calm, safe and secure πŸ™

I feel at peace, calm, safe and secure. I am so happy that I am free from work 4 days now. It will be a soothing, relaxing time at home with my babies. πŸ™

I am so grateful for how far I have come, the progress I have made and the inner peace I am beginning to feel.

Soon I will relax, recover and replenish my energy – only 12 workdays left πŸ™

There are only 12 workdays left of this semester, then my summer vacation will begin 😍. I will be free from work for 7 weeks, which I truly, truly look forward to. I am so happy that I have managed to keep working 100% every day, even after everything that has happened. However, I feel like these 7 weeks of summer vacation will be exactly what I need right now. I really need a break from my work, from the school building and most importantly from Friday’s at work. These 7 weeks will be my time to relax, recover and replenish my energy. πŸ™

Be your own superhero πŸ¦Έβ€β™€οΈ

You have to take care of yourself. If you feel sad and worried, be the one who comforts you. When someone hurts you, be there for yourself and build up your strenght again.

Don’t wait for someone to save you, be your own superhero and value your safety, security and wellbeing first and foremost. Trust your instincts and follow the path that feels best to you.

Drop the victim mentality – a change is needed, a change in your perspective

It may seem impossible at times, but it is always possible. There is always hope, there are always endless possibilities coming your way and there are magnificent improvements to every single situation there is.

It may seem dark and gloomy where you stand right now, it may seem as if you are all alone and that all hope is lost. Under these situations your asking for improvements gets stronger and more intense – but as long as you keep looking at what is, keep complaining, keep worrying and keep feeling like a helpless victim, you will continue to stay stuck and suffer.

A change is indeed needed, but the first change that needs to happen is in your perspective! Nothing in these circumstances need to change in order for you to feel better. If you can find a way to think differently about the situation, the situation will change as well. And you are 100 % in charge of your perspective, what you think and therfore you are 100 % in charge of how you feel, regardless the circumstances.

Feeling sad, frustrated, powerless or insecure is not wrong, you are not a bad person just because you are negative – it is natural to feel awful when you experience awful and unwanted things. But you don’t have to stay in that limiting emotional place! If you shift the way you look at it, how you feel will shift as well- and as a beautiful bonus, the situation will improve too.

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