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I have a stalker ðŸ¤£ðŸ˜¨

Ok this is a little bit weird. Last summer a man looked at me quite often whenever I was out for a walk with my babies. He always smiled and complimented my looks. I didn’t really think about it that much. But… two days ago he walk past our house while I was out in the garden with my babies. He stopped and walked up to me, really close, and started asking me a lot of questions, like what my name was, what I do for a living, what my babies names were and so on. He smiled a lot and said “you look really nice” and put his hand on my shoulder. It made me really uncomfortable but I wanted to be polite so I stood up and walked over to my kids instead while saying thank you and good bye to this man. My boyfriend and our neighbour saw the whole thing because they were just across the road washing our neighbour’s car. They thought it was funny and laughed about it afterwards, said I had an admirer.

Then I put it behind me and didn’t think about it again, until tonight. Our door bell rang and my boyfriend went to open. It was this man again! He asked for me and had brought a gift with him that he wanted to give me. I stayed in another room, pretending I was busy and my babies were sitting with me. My boyfriend thanked him for the gift and thought he would leave after that but the man said he wanted to come in for tea or coffee. My boyfriend said no and told the man that it was not a good time since our babies are about to go to bed. And the man left.

This is weird. It feels weird. I don’t know what to make of this. This man might be kind and caring, just wanting to show some appreciation… but it still feels weird. My boyfriend told me to never ever open the door if this man comes and I am home alone. Sounds like a good plan to me. He also called the neighbour and asked them to keep an eye out the days and evenings I am home alone.

Maybe he is over reacting, but it still feels a bit weird and it is best to go with what feels better.

  • Have you ever been through something similar?
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70 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. the britchy one
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 18:32:53

    Get a photo. Stay inside and take a photo then go to the police with it. Please be safe. Being safe is more important than being polite. This man is overstepping every line – he’s not even a casual acquaintance. If he turns up one more time get a security camera. If you’re outside ask him to leave firmly. This isn’t just creepy it’s downright scary. Protect you and your kids 😊

    Liked by 6 people

    Reply

  2. Phemo
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 18:55:01

    Your boyfriend should have a man to man talk with him. It’s scary that he is not afraid of buying you gifts and giving them to your boyfriend. It’s sound very weird to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. AQUIB
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 19:18:16

    Your boyfriend is right.
    “Prevention/precaution is better than cure.”

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

  4. Lulu
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 19:25:39

    Wow, it is very weird. Your boyfriend should have asked his name and address, so you can run a background on him or report him to official in case he does something more weird stuff in future.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  5. @vapor_sage
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 19:28:45

    Make sure he knows that there is absolutely no interest. Tell him you are not comfortable with how you have been approached. I’d rather be crushed with the truth than flattered with avoidance or indifference

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  6. RomeoRose
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 19:45:10

    If you ever talk to him again, be absolutely clear in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in him romantically and never will be. Don’t worry about his feelings. You can’t be kind. He’ll appreciate your honesty.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. ohiocook
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 19:45:35

    You never know about people anymore, be careful!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. sonofabeach96
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 19:52:01

    I don’t think he’s overreacting at all. In fact, the gift, and this guy, would’ve been shoved off the porch and it made known he’s not welcome there ever again. Y’all are much more polite than I’d have been. Be careful and be aware of your surroundings.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Sharon Pankey
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 20:06:19

    I too love to extend kindness, grace and love to those I come into contact with BUT he has crossed boundaries and that’s not good. I will be praying a hedge of protection around you and your family. Stay safe ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  10. righteousbruin9
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 20:15:01

    Your boyfriend is a good man, trying to protect his woman and kids. No, that other man has no business chasing after a woman who is in a committed relationship-or any woman who is not interested in him. I have a couple of women who are pestering me, but they are, for the time being anyway, no threat to my person. Do stay safe and keep your babies out of harm’s way.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. theacquiescentsoul
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 20:18:45

    I am a huge proponent of trusting your instincts. If it feels weird, than it is weird. Trust your feelings on the matter and take whatever steps you feel are needed.

    Granted, I think everyone here would agree you are an attractive woman, but that does not excuse anyone from crossing any boundaries.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. Andrea Harris
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 20:24:23

    This is abnormal behavior. Maybe in 1863, a man could bring a gift to a home to court a woman, but not now. I would stay away from him and have your boyfriend tell him you’ll call the police if he comes back. I’m heartless this way, but better safe than sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. brownbeauty8
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 20:32:19

    Be stern and let him know that you are not interested. Don’t be nice and don’t give him any reason to think you are interested. What if the next time he comes your bf isn’t there? Be careful!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. Walk the Goats
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 20:54:18

    There’s a book that might reassure you that you need to pay attention to the inner signals you’re getting. “The Gift of Fear.” I heard the author once and he said women in particular want to be “nice” and often ignore their inner warnings.

    He described a woman at an elevator. The door opens and there’s one man inside. Instantly, the hairs go up on the back of her neck and she experiences fear (or distress). But, being the “polite” woman she is, she steps in and the door closes.

    The author continues by commenting that no other animal would do that. They would not intentionally step into a box that will close behind them if they fear the thing in front of them. No other animal. That really stuck with me.

    It doesn’t matter if the guy in the elevator has no bad intent. He may be a “good guy.” That wasn’t the point.

    All the posts here are like the author of that book: pay attention to your inner signals. Keep yourself safe. You are not responsible for how he reacts, should he feel “hurt” by your clear boundary-setting. That’s his problem, not yours.

    You (and your boyfriend) need to take care of your safety and the safety of your family. All the steps you’re taking sound like that’s exactly what you’re doing.

    Be safe.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • joypassiondesire
      Apr 24, 2018 @ 21:51:17

      Yes!!! This is so true. I have had these very strong signals every time something bad was about tp happen to me. Every single time. I remeber the night when I was raped by two boys – the moment before I stepped into the outdoor toilet room with them (where it happened) I felt a big red warning light start flashing in my mind – but I didnt listen. I thought “I know one of the guys, it is no problem”. And when I entered the toilet room with them, they locked the door and raped me.

      So yes – I should stop being so bloody nice and listen to my own guidance in these situations. Absolutely. 🌹🌹🌹🌹

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Walk the Goats
        Apr 25, 2018 @ 19:12:50

        It can be hard to change our ways of responding to things. My theory is a lot of our automatic responses are hard wired in, either by nature or by the lessons we got as children.

        And some of those lessons aren’t good ones. So be gentle on yourself as you move to redirect the ship of your life, away from a possible iceberg. Nice is nice, except when you shouldn’t be.

        Liked by 1 person

      • joypassiondesire
        Apr 25, 2018 @ 19:30:56

        So beautiful. Thank you for your thoughts on this. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Eva O'Reilly
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 21:09:58

    So much easier online when you can just ignore them and hope that they go away. Hope he stops bothering you soon ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. ashleyleia
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 21:10:44

    It’s so unfortunate that there are creepy people like that who try to take advantage of other people’s kindness.

    Like

    Reply

  17. Andy
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 21:13:25

    The fact that the man knows you have a boyfriend and yet still wants to bring a gift come into your home shoukd set alarm bells ringing. You both need to start giving him a firm no thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. Onyemomma
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 22:18:17

    This world we live in is so scary and people are so dangerous. Definitely be careful, and your boyfriend should be too. If he thinks he has competition he could become aggressive.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  19. thelonelyauthorblog
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 22:37:42

    Don’t open any doors for him. The fact that he brings a gift knowing you have a boyfriend is very disrespectful. THe, asking himself in, that is totally weird. Getting bad vibes from this.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  20. Gary
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 22:41:15

    I think you are justified in feeling uncomfortable.
    I would make sure your partner gets a photograph of this man and I would visit the police and let them know you are concerned.
    If this man knows you are on social media at the very least strengthen your privacy settings and if necessary take a hiatus. I’d go back and remove photos of you and your babies too. He may be wanting you are he may want your babies.
    This is not a good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. delsenboisen
    Apr 24, 2018 @ 23:15:28

    This is not his first if he is doing this. Also these days are sort of insecure and weirs things do happen, so it is paramount to keep safe and be safe all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  22. Plectrumm
    Apr 25, 2018 @ 01:08:24

    Kindness has its limits and accepted social boundaries! Gifts without precedence (reason) are a kind gesture, but socially awkward without sufficient prior connections. While he may not present any danger, you don’t know enough about him to assume his intentions are strictly benign. If you want to know him better, take the offensive and tell him straight up what you’re conveying here, and it seems weird! Absent of an acknowledgement by him he understands, notify the police so they can at the very least document his behavior for any future reference?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  23. Alexis Rose
    Apr 25, 2018 @ 03:41:54

    Listen to your gut. It sounds like its really inappropriate behavior from this person. Be careful. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  24. pvcann
    Apr 25, 2018 @ 06:16:13

    Yes listen to your gut, boundaries ar ereally important.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  25. My Real Dish
    Apr 30, 2018 @ 17:55:22

    SCARY!!! Take this seriously ASAP!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  26. purelysimplewords
    May 04, 2018 @ 23:28:20

    That is serious. Make a police report and if you see him again start videoing him. These things can escalate and if he had the nerve to come to your house he is probably dangerous. Start a paper trail with the police and take caution.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • joypassiondesire
      May 04, 2018 @ 23:29:56

      Thank you, and yes that was exactly what I did the day after it happened. Felt so much better talking to the police about it. And I have made up a plan of action if I ever see him again. 🌟

      Like

      Reply

  27. SLIMJIM
    May 06, 2018 @ 17:34:28

    I’m sorry you have a stalker; I hope there hasn’t been a situation since this one with this guy? Sounds so creepy and he doesn’t get the hint even with your boyfriend there, that is outrageous. Sicko.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  28. Connie Werner Reichert
    May 09, 2018 @ 01:14:13

    Yes, As a former TV Personality, I have had more than one stalker! A group of men in a van used to wait for me in the parking lot at my Tv station after work to try to catch me. They would try to follow me home , leaving me to some very creative driving skills even Tom Cruise would approve of. Then there was this creepy man at my apt. complex 25 years ago who used to wait on my doorstep for me. Used to tape all my TV shows and stuff. Invite me to dinner with his mother! My advice? Be firm but stay away! Your instincts are never wrong. If it feels creepy, it is. Be careful. Your kids need a mother!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  29. halieusmedia
    May 09, 2018 @ 21:20:08

    Forgive me if this double-posted. I read this in your first post on this topic; “This is weird. It feels weird. I don’t know what to make of this. This man might be kind and caring, just wanting to show some appreciation… but it still feels weird.”

    T R U S T your gut. One of your comments recommended Dr DeBecker’s book and I wholeheartedly agree. I would add; document everything, get letters from your neighbors stating what they have witnessed. Never answer the door when this man arrives. Should there ever be an occasion to call the police, you will have ample evidence to request a “no contact” order or whatever it is called in your area.

    Gentle and harmless as he may appear, he is casing your home; this is unacceptable behavior. I wish you and your family all the happiness and peace of mind life has to offer.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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