Advertisements

Lending money – saying no because you care โค

Here is a brief update on the lending money topic I wrote about a few weeks ago. I have been asked to help out a very close friend financially every month for many years now, and I still do it. However, more people come to me for financial help – one of them is a person I hardly know. Today I got a message again from her, asking me for money. It just does not feel right anymore – so I finally said no. She has parents, her boyfriend has parents and they have lots of close friends. I and my boyfriend are on our own. Neither one of us has any parents and no one else around. Still I have helped this woman financially many times and at the same time given money to another friend almost monthly and my very close friend as well.

I have to listen to my own inner guidance and what feels best to me. This person who I hardly know will no longer get money from me. I have not given her any money since last time I wrote about this. However I will continue to help out my very close friend and occationally my other friend, as long as it feels ok. Most importantly, I will encourage their own financial independence. โค

Advertisements

25 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tahir Ali Khan(Official)
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 14:30:59

    That’s good. You must not allow others to dictate terms or blakmail you emotionally. Live your life as you like. Just ristrict access of unwanted persons into your life/privacy

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  2. Kathleen Kerswig, LUT
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 14:54:32

    Thank you for sharing about your ability to trust your inner guidance. Follow your heart. ~ Blessings, KK

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  3. ymhej
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 15:43:18

    For me it isnโ€™t nice to just ask money from other people because they get used to it and not learn to stand on their own. Youโ€™re one great person and theyโ€™re lucky for having you around. They surely owe you a lot – and by that I mean not just in terms of finances.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  4. righteousbruin9
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 16:08:18

    Fostering financial independence is a gift that keeps on giving. It won’t be that long before your children start to notice these things, also.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  5. consistency768203202
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 17:50:16

    One word: Boundaries. Boundaries serve two purposes. Like a fence, they keep certain things in and other things out. That’s all….

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  6. Hilary Tan
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 18:51:49

    From a young age, my mother told me not to lend out money regardless of how close the friend is. This warning stuck in my head and I almost always refuse to lend money to people, not because I am stingy with my money but because they cannot be trusted to pay it back. The most I ever lent was $7 (against my will) and she finally paid me back 9 months later after having to nag her which I hate doing. Usually I wouldnโ€™t care about $7, but thatโ€™s not why I wanted the money back – it was the intention behind it all that bugged me. My husband has lent textbooks to people and never got them back, and now he wants to lend our baby stuff to his friend who still has his textbook. I said โ€œdonโ€™t expect to get your stuff back then, but Iโ€™m gonna need the baby gear for the next kid. So unless you want to buy everything again, then donโ€™t lend it to her.โ€

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • joypassiondesire
      Apr 16, 2018 @ 20:02:00

      I wish I had thought like you ๐Ÿคฃ I have given away hundreds of thousands over the last 11 years, and no I have not received anything back. ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Hilary Tan
        Apr 16, 2018 @ 20:26:59

        Iโ€™m so sorry that this happened to you. Hundreds of thousands! I cannot even imagine. These people will continue to take advantage of you because they know they can get away with it. Itโ€™s sick and twisted I know. And sadly these people also think that they are entitled. You did the right thing standing up for yourself. You should not feel obligated to owe her anything, or let her take advantage of your kindness.

        Liked by 1 person

      • joypassiondesire
        Apr 16, 2018 @ 20:28:13

        Thank you for these kind, loving words. It truly means a lot to me. ๐ŸŒน

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hilary Tan
        Apr 16, 2018 @ 20:31:30

        This is why I love the WordPress community so much. Youโ€™re nicer than the people I personally know and show compassion. I truly feel loved and valued in this community. ๐Ÿ’•

        Liked by 1 person

      • joypassiondesire
        Apr 16, 2018 @ 20:34:40

        I agree with you, there is so much love and kindness here on wordpress and so much meaningful conversation! ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Gary
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 20:06:35

    You are doing the right thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. thehopemindersdigest
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 20:08:26

    It says a whole lot more about you and the love that you have for yourself. We spend most of our time trying not to make others upset with us or trying to save the world, that we do more harm to ourselves. You saying no is probably the most loving thing you can do for yourself, and for her. In the long run, because this door has been closed, she’ll be more resourceful and do what she needs to do provide for her self better. That in my opinion says you care more, as opposed to continuing to enabling her and her boy friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. delsenboisen
    Apr 17, 2018 @ 09:38:15

    Now that’s drawing a line to make the side sit back and learn something if they have not done so.
    Good on you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Follow joypassiondesire on WordPress.com

Archives

%d bloggers like this: