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The nightmare again, but some progress

Last night I had my usual nightmare – the same one I have had since I was a little baby. I am back at my childhood house, something very evil is coming after me to hurt and kill me. I am all alone, it is dark outside and my only escape is to lock myself in, in a room. But as usual all doors are open and unlockable so I cannot escape. The intense fear is the same, the scenario is exactly the same but now there is one big change that I have never experienced in my nightmare before: I consciously think, “Alright I already know all the doors are unlockable so I am not even going to try to lock them. However, I will open the door when it comes and I will kill it.” I look around for a weapon of some sort and prepare myself for the moment… then I wake up.

This is huge progress because over these 30 something years that I have had this nightmare I have always felt the fear and panic and put all my energy on trying to lock these unlockable doors, in vain. This is the first time I decided to do something more productive. It felt like I kind of made the best of the situation, accepted it for what it was and decided to make the best of it – do something that I could do. Even if the evil thing never reached me, I still feel a shift within this nightmare. I kind of look forward to next time, I will continue to do what I CAN do to face this and protect myself, no more trying to lock unlockable doors.

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mihrank
    Apr 10, 2018 @ 08:02:02

    wow – I am reading your post, hope you feel much better, please let me know if we can further assist you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Marion Njeri
    Apr 10, 2018 @ 09:59:08

    Nightmares reoccur sometimes and it’s not pleasant

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Viola Bleu
    Apr 10, 2018 @ 10:31:55

    I’d like to think this is your subconscious altering the wiring in your learned behaviour responses of a lifetime. You’ve learnt much during your recent adult years, and since being here heard many supportive voices encouraging strength from within. Your instinct is there to look after you and your subconscious is now changing for the better. Even verbally, I bet now you might respond differently to negative behaviour than even five years ago? I don’t know your past but I feel your progress πŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸŒΈ

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  4. Journey-For-Life
    Apr 10, 2018 @ 11:05:21

    It’s a journey for sure! I love the progress! I love dreams. The main character in my book, Masquerade, has these types of dreams, too. I’d encourage you to read it. https://www.westbowpress.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-001154913.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. 4msbipolarmom
    Apr 10, 2018 @ 19:26:31

    Recently Ive been feeling like Im in my own prison. And its small and its locked. But I think our fear inside our “rooms” is the same. And I wonder whether conceiving of and imagining ourselves NOT in the prisons would be important. To walk out. To say no, we choose a different path. I havent figured the way out yet, but if u do, let me know ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Timeless Classics -- Poetry by Ana Daksina
    Apr 10, 2018 @ 21:20:02

    Yaaaay!! 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Tides and Tidings
    Apr 10, 2018 @ 22:20:16

    Good luck with killing it. Looking it in the face would probably do that..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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