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My babies want to work out just like me 😍😍😍

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The absolute best moment – solitude, delicious food, darkness and rain ❤

I just put my babies to bed and my boyfriend is still down in the basement playing video games as usual – now is my favourite moment. My solitude. I have made a mud cake just for me and I am going to stay here on the couch just enjoying the stillness and the soothing darkness. I love these moments!

I feel my best when I am alone, eating something delicious and when it is dark and rainy outside.

  • When do you feel really good?

Hurtful actions comes from inner pain 🌹

The nightmare again, but some progress

Last night I had my usual nightmare – the same one I have had since I was a little baby. I am back at my childhood house, something very evil is coming after me to hurt and kill me. I am all alone, it is dark outside and my only escape is to lock myself in, in a room. But as usual all doors are open and unlockable so I cannot escape. The intense fear is the same, the scenario is exactly the same but now there is one big change that I have never experienced in my nightmare before: I consciously think, “Alright I already know all the doors are unlockable so I am not even going to try to lock them. However, I will open the door when it comes and I will kill it.” I look around for a weapon of some sort and prepare myself for the moment… then I wake up.

This is huge progress because over these 30 something years that I have had this nightmare I have always felt the fear and panic and put all my energy on trying to lock these unlockable doors, in vain. This is the first time I decided to do something more productive. It felt like I kind of made the best of the situation, accepted it for what it was and decided to make the best of it – do something that I could do. Even if the evil thing never reached me, I still feel a shift within this nightmare. I kind of look forward to next time, I will continue to do what I CAN do to face this and protect myself, no more trying to lock unlockable doors.

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