My abortion 🌸

10 years ago I had to make the most difficult decision I have ever been forced to make. Before the experience I would never ever have even considered having an abortion. I always said “if I ever become pregnant, no matter the circumstances, I will keep it.” But there I was 10 years ago, pregnant for the first time but in a very strange situation. (Yes the father is the same father my two little babies have). I took a lot of time to consider my options because I knew he didn’t want me to keep the baby, especially since we were not even a couple back then.

It was a hard decision and I spent many days and nights crying and wanting to run far away and keep the baby and raise it by myself instead. But, eventually the decision had to be made and I chose to go through with the abortion.

It was an awful experience but I still feel I made the right decision for me at that time. I know many people think I should have kept the baby no matter the circumstances – because what right do I have to choose whether another person should live or die? If it would have happened now, I would have kept it no matter what. Do I regret the abortion? A part of me does. I am sorry it happened. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about what could have been my first baby.

However, what is done is done. The past is in the past. The mistakes and decisions I made has already been made. It is of no value to beat up on yourself for your past – make peace with it and trust that you did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness and knowledge you had. It is ok. If you feel guilty or if you blame someone else – forgive yourself and forgive them. We are all doing the best we can from where we stand. 

Let go of your past with love, choose to live in the now and honor your inner guidance. Move on with love and appreciation in your heart for the experience and focus on how you want to feel NOW and what you want to experience NOW.



6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Christy B
    Jan 06, 2018 @ 19:13:15

    Thank you for sharing your words about letting go of the past. This was so brave of you to write. I wish you a beautiful, content New Year xo

    Liked by 1 person


  2. Erma Lazada
    Jan 06, 2018 @ 19:32:49

    We all make mistakes. You are forgiven.

    Liked by 1 person


  3. Shera Phillips
    Jan 07, 2018 @ 11:43:34

    Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person


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