How do you deal with your panic attacks and your anxiety?

Ever since I was a little girl I have had flashes of panic attacks and days filled with anxiety, sometimes several days in a row, every week. 

When I grew up I had no idea how to handle these awful, intense feelings and it resulted in a lot of anger and depression. Back then I also felt like a powerless victim to everything that happened to me… my alcoholic father, the bullying, my eating disorders, the sexual abuse, the physical abuse, the death of my parents… everything just added to my panic attacks and my anxiety.

It was not until I was 24 years old that I – completely on my own – began improving how I felt about myself and how I handled my mood swings. Little by little I began liking myself and I developed a strong, beautiful self esteem. 

From that point on everything in my life improved as well. I got a job I loved, met an amazing man and my self-esteem continued to grow stronger and stronger. It took time but I managed to go from feeling like a powerless victim to feeling like an empowered woman.

However, my panic attacks and my anxiety is still with me every week. Even though I have the body of my dreams, two little babies, a job I love and an amazing boyfriend… I am, however, better at soothing myself once I get hit with theses awful emotions, and I am an expert at hiding how I feel at work and so on… but the feelings are still as intense as when I was a little girl. 

Some days, like today, I feel no desire to continue living. It is so strange because the feelings are so intense and so real… but tomorrow they might be gone again. That gives me some relief, to know that this too shall pass. Until it passes I treat myself to a lot of delicious food and play a lot with my cute little babies.

How do you handle your panic attacks and your anxiety?


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. The Self-Help Whisperer
    Jan 01, 2018 @ 19:15:33

    I walk away. At work, I step outside. At home, I get up, move. I’ve left full carts at the market. I’ve canceled appointments… once, I was at the dentist and said “I’m having anxiety and need up reschedule” and left. I do try to do things afraid, too, but generally… yeah, still walk away to breathe and regroup.

    Liked by 2 people


  2. Matters of Living
    Jan 01, 2018 @ 21:53:48

    I keep my mind busy or find company to offer some comfort. It is hard to dwell on the feelings and try to overcome. It seems the phase just has to run its course. It is fortunate to have the good things in life to help one get through it

    Liked by 1 person


  3. G
    Jan 02, 2018 @ 17:41:52

    Non-judgemental awareness! Breathing through the pain and realizing that anxiety is simply overthinking. Life is beautiful, no matter what pain is thrown our way. Thank you for sharing your story ❤

    Liked by 1 person


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